Spoof news stories from Wednesday 28 April 2004
Kerry Picks Kofi Annan As Veep; Gains Poll Points In Berkeley, Accra
(WASHINGTON, D.C.) Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry today announced his selection of U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan as his running mate. Annan, 66, has occupied the U.N. post since June of 2001.
An Open Letter to the British People:
Dear British,
I, John Andersen, of Lakewood, CO would like to run for a spot in your House of Commons. I’ve been watching CSPAN 2 now for a few months and I believe I am well qualified to represent some English hamlet or small county. I don’t know much about your system of government or even your country’s proximity to Colorado, but I do know that I have a strong desire to lead and a knack...
PM: Climate change 'a critical issue'
The issue of climate change is now 'very, very critical indeed' the Prime Minister said yesterday.
Britney Spears My Youth
It wasn’t until the advent of pop phenomenon Britney Spears that I realized I was aging far faster than I had previously imagined.
Yup, gone seem the days of Carole King and Joni Mitchell ballads; with the success of Britney wiggling and jiggling her way across the globe, it appears the poetic lyrics and well-crafted melodies of my youth have gone the way of the Vac-U-Form. (If you have to...
"Dodgeball Supremacy Be Damned!" Exclaims Bee Winner.
New York-Sai Gunturi always dreamed of this moment. His slight frame not built for power, speed, attractiveness, or strong winds stood tall today as he had his father accept his Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee Trophy. With crocodile tears that w...
New American Idol Controversy
Hollywood, Ca --
There is a new American Idol controversy behind the scenes that you may or may not know about. This Spoof reporter goes to th...
Heavy Metallers Mame Fans
Vicious goth band Sick Hell Death have caused numerous fans irreparable damage to their eardrums.
Pete 'n Dud to play edinburgh festival.
The corpses of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore are to do a one off special show at the Edinburgh festival fringe this year.
George W. Bush Heals the Sick and Raises the Dead.
In an unconventional move yesterday, President George Bush pushed aside the formalities and etiquette of public greeting and began blessing people and casting out evil spirits.
Enquiry to be held.
The Scottish parliament today launched an enquiry to see why the enquiry on the spiralling cost of the Scottish parliament building has cost as much as it did.
Giant crustaceans terrorize Dover seaport.
The British army has been recalled from Iraq today as an emergency situation has arisen in a seaside town in Kent.
Food additives blamed for pregnant MP
Scientists from the World Health Organisation today claimed that the chemical additives in food is the direct cause of Pregnant man syndrome (PMS).
Bush Unveils New "Kill Everybody" Plan
Washington - President Bush unveiled a new plan today for bringing stability to Iraq. The plan, which the President has named "Operation Kill Everybody", would call for an additional 9 million troops, several million tons of napalm, and a number of...
Administration Seeks Shredding Contractor
Unconfirmed sources report that the Bush administration has quietly sought bids for post election document shredding. The shredding contract is said to be the largest ever bid by an american shredding company. Our sources indicate that the estimated...
Are you a finalist in a junk mail prize draw?
Have you just opened a letter that looked like it contained a huge cheque, only to find something that looked more like a food hygiene certificate?
Yes, yes, yes. You are one of twelve million lucky, lucky people to be specially selected to win a fantastic prize. Cold, hard cash is waiting for you now.