Spoof news stories from Monday 26 April 2004

Cruelty of Genetics; Cloning of Omarosa and Heidi into Oma-Heidi; The Perverse Political Angle

In its continuing attack on John Kerry-Heinz, the White House told writer KungFu IceSkater, that it would release pictures even scarier than earlier released pictures of William Jefferson Clinton ("The Bill") with his "damage-control" advis...

Bush Cabinet Meeting Highlighted By "SBD" Talk

Washington-A new threat to the solidarity of the Bush inner-circle arose this morning in a closed-door foreign policy meeting. This new hazard is said to have polarized the room entirely and might have short-term lingering effects. At some point dur...

Wesbite Links Al-Qaeda to Hot Lesbian Action

Baghdad -- A Web site posted a statement Monday attributed to Osama bin Laden associate Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, claiming responsibility for deadly weekend suicide attacks on two oil terminals in southern Iraq. The website also has connections to some...

Saddam Given "Time Out" Until He Cooperates

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba -- Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was given a "time out" and made to stand in the corner by his captors today until he cooperates with intelligence officers appointed to his case.

Simon Cowell joins John Kerry as chief advisor.

In a strange marriage of politics and showbiz, John Kerry invites American Idol genius Simon Cowell on board to help choose a running mate for the 2004 election.

Cheney Says Monica is Behind Bad Enviro-Nut Regulations!

Dick Cheney, speaking to the 2004 graduating class of the Wyoming School of Oil Production, attacked "all those silly Clinton-Administration adopted regulations restricting oil production in the US," - the ones designed to clean up the air,...

Winnie The Pooh Busted in 100 Acre Wood Sex Romp

Winnie the Pooh was arrested today on one count of public indecency, one count of fornication in a public location, one count of bestiality, as well as numerous other misdemeanors. Similar charges have been made against Winnie's collaborator, Ee...

Death By Chocolate

A man has died in a freak confectionery accident whilst on a works outing to a famous chocolate factory...

New Reality Show 'The Swine' Coming to FOX

In an effort to capitalize on the sick and twisted perversions of the American viewing tastes, FOX announced today that it will be starting a new reality series this Fall titled "The Swine". "We expect this show to really bring home the bacon," s...

USA Demands Freedom For EU Nazis

A Russian-cum-Belarus-sponsored resolution at the Geneva conference on human rights against racism and xenophobia expressed deep concern at the tendency of some states to glorify former members of the SS, instituting monuments in their honour and all...

Pro Choice Plea:"George, George, Stay Out of My Bush"

Organizers of The March for Women's Rights estimate that Sundays pro abortion rally in Washington drew a crowd of at least one million people, possibly more. In a statement issued from in hiding at Camp David, President Bush called on the nation to "...