Spoof news stories from Wednesday 21 April 2004

Penis Extension industry files suit against owners of Colorado WinterPark Ski resort.

An unusual case filed today against the thriving Colorado ski resort today has come to the attention of both lawmakers and anti-spam lobbyists.

People piss me right off

Do you drive with your parking lights on at dusk? If so you piss me right off. Good Lord, I can’t drive down the road without wanting to choke the life out of somebody. Whether it is breaking through an intersection when the light is green or speeding up to run a red light after driving below the speed limit for five miles I’ve had it with you morons. I could never run for public office ei...

George W. Bush makes concessions to keep U.K. troops in Iraq.

After lengthy negotiations between the two countries leaders, Bush has agreed to ask for U.N. sanctions against the state of Massachusetts and if necessary lead a peace keeping force in the invasion and occupation of Boston.

John Kerry Catches Fly at Outdoor Press Conference

In an incredible display of hand-eye coordination, President-2-Be Kerry reached out without warning at an outdoor press conference and with true dexterity pulled a fly straight out of the air.

Bush Slips 12 Points in the Polls. Analysts Blame American Idol Scheduling Blunder.

Polls one week after President Bush's April 13 Press Conference show a massive slip as he looses 12 points to Kerry.

Woman gets 97% of information from e-mail forwards.

Grundy Center, IA - Local woman Grace Aiken makes no bones about it, she loves e-mail forwards. Even to the point that she estimates that on a given day up to 97% of the information that she shares with others is derived directly from this relatively...

George W Warmonger at it again.

Today in Washington George W Bush stated to a startled United Nations that he was going to war with a lawn bowling club in Scotland.

Is President Bush The Devil?

US President George W. Bush was unmasked as the Devil and placed under house arrest today after a series of marks apparently fulfilling biblical prophecies, were found on the top of his head.

Dicks in the House

Vice President Dick (Dick) Cheney has entered Walter Reed Army Hospital for treatment of an undisclosed illness. Doctors have been more circumspect than usual when discussing Mr. Cheney's condition, other than saying it was an elective, but definitel...