Spoof news stories from Wednesday 3 September 2003
Hutton Enquiry 'really quite dull'
Official polls have described the Hutton Enquiry as enormously dull and boring. Many UK television viewers have been turned off the news due to at least half of every news-programme being dedicated to an enquiry full of lying, cheating losers.
"Citizenship Classes" to teach Hooliganism
Under new government proposals, asylum seekers reaching the pearly gates of Dover will be forced to take David Blunkett's new "Citizenship Classes" before being accepted as British Citizens.