Spoof news stories from Tuesday 11 November 2003
No arrest over burning bigot
South Westerley County Council refused to comment today on allegations that they had effectively goaded local idiots into burning a straw bigot during traditional Guy Fawkes night celebrations, as a childish attempt to "even the score" afte...
Claim For A Laugh with Michael Howard
In an astonishing u-turn from his recent "I'm a nice bloke really" re-branding, Michael Howard, the new leader of the Tories, has announced a bizarre onslaught against the unemployed that harkens back to his darker, Thatcherite, days. Today, he anno...
Chelski in United Swoop
Chelski have dipped into the very deep wallet of Mr Roman Abramovich yet again to sign on loan until the end of the season all of the capitols Manchester United "fans".
Ronald Mcdonald buys Leeds United!
Ronald Mcdonald had bought Leeds United football club for the price of one Big Mac. The world famous fast food giant launched his shock take over bid yesterday. Due to Leeds massive debts, they had no choice but to accept.
Report says WMD's were MD'd by Iraqi W's
Sources close to Tony Blair say that a new report published yesterday states that Weapons of Mass Destruction could well have been present in Iraq before the conflict, however were destroyed by Weapons of Mass Destruction destroyers.
Superman, Batman Call It Quits
METROPOLIS - It was a surprise for the rest of us, but colleagues of the two super-friends say today's simultaneous announcements that Superman and Batman would cease collaboration was no surprise to them.
US Tested Weapons Of Mass Desertion
THE PENTAGON - Military officials admitted today the experimental use of revolutionary weapons technology in the Iraq war. According to their statement, the weapon has worked successfully in two secret tests and the Pentagon is now ready to release t...
2004 Presidency to be Decided on "Survivor"
Washington, D.C. - In a move that turned the political world upside-down, Congress announced today that instead of having a traditional presidential election next November, candidates will compete on the popular reality game show "Survivor"...
Aliens Refuse to Give Foul-Smelling Man Anal Probe
The Zexandroogs, a group of grey-class aliens from the planet Zexandroogentopiaberg, refused to give a routine anal probing to an abductee on Monday because of his "unhygienic nature".
Bruce Willis Enraged He Has Yet To Be Punk'd
Hollywood, California. Die Hard Celebrity Bruce Willis expressed his froustrations to sources, for not yet being the butt of an uncarefully crafted high-budget prank by his ex wife's boyfriend Ashton K (the host of MTV's hit show Punk'd)...
Gallagher Triumphs
LOS ANGELES, CA--Nearly 6 weeks after totally devastating gubernatorial candidate hopeful Todd Richard Lewis, a 56 year old; non-partisan Leo Gallagher issued a celebratory statement, "Now that every last vote has been accounted for, in this...