Spoof news stories from Friday 15 August 2003
Choir found to have second jobs
Local busybody, Julia Swinsford, has now brought the sleepy village of Malmsborough into disrepute, claiming that the local church Choir have second jobs.
Man with no memory forgets to not eat his own arms
Geoff Winsdale, 53, has suffered from a certain amount of post-traumatic stress since he fell in love with another man in '73. Part of his debilitation included a very severe loss of memory and an increased inability to store recent memories. Unt...
Naked Chef involved in Naked bank robbery
Naked Chef, Jamie "Terrance" Oliver, was today involved in a bungled bank robbery foiled by ace spy, Delia Smith. Smith, 73, first became suspicious of sprightly Oliver, 15, when they originally engaged in sexual relations four years ago.
English Premiership trophy bought by Abramovich
Chelsea's rich and marvellous new owner, Roman Ab (as we like to call him), has decided to bypass the whole possibility of his new 'super-team' stuffing up, by simply purchasing the original Premiership trophy in advance of the season act...
New report states that water is likely to cause cancer
In a new report sanctioned by the US government, officials have stated that water was found to have been drunk by 98% of all cancer victims. Juliet Bravo, state official for Texas said:...
August to be renamed Harriust in UK to promote Prince Harry
After receiving some relatively dismal A-level grades (considering the amount of money thrown at him and probably the examiners), the UK's monarchy has decided to strike back at the population of UK by changing the calendar on them. From now on,...