Spoof news stories from April 2002
There were 51 spoof news stories published in April 2002. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Beckham's foot attacked
A nation gasped on Thursday when David Beckham's left foot, thought to be the most valuable body organ in the history of the world ever, was brutally assaulted, attacked and left for dead in a park this week. Mr Left Foot, who has often been rum...
Easter Bunny children murder case solved
In a shocking twist of events it has been found that it was Mr. Playboy Bunny that killed three of the children of Mr. Easter Bunny.
New Dress Code Announced For Wimbledon 2004
TheSpoof can now exclusively reveal the long awaited changes to the dress code for this years Wimbledon tournament.
Smile spotted in EastEnders
In a shocking movement, TheSpoof.com can exclusively reveal that someone has smiled on the set of the misery-misery BBC1 soap, EastEnders. The perpetrator is not yet known, but suspisions are mainly upon hardman, gruff-talking wild boar sou...
Woman With Large Breasts Arrested
A woman with large breasts has been arrested today, following allegations of manslaughter due to her dangerously large bosom.
Chuckle Bros. Involved in new QM Calamity
Shocking news has come into the TheSpoof offices today, as Barrie and Paul Chuckle are reportedly being held in cells until further police questioning, in relation to the molestation of the corpse of beloved public figure, the late queen mother.
Nicholas Lyndhurst Marries Himself
It all started on the set of those genuinely disturbing WHSmiths adverts. Nicholas and his female alter-ego met across a crowded film set, and built a relationsip based on mutual trust and honestly, based mainly on the fact that they are actually the...
Lava Lamp Erupts On Right Tit
A lava lamp that has laid dormant for years has today erupted, taking countless lives and leaving thousands injured and without homes.
Playboy Bunny replaces Easter Bunny
In a shocking revelation the world renowned Play Bunny has agreed to take over the role of head chocolate delivering animal.
'And' is the BEST word in the alphabet
Today, scientists at a top dictionary school proved using maths and stuff that "and" is officially the best word in the world. Nobody is happier than yours truly, Andy Ampersand.
Javascript: a beginner's Guide
Javascript? Some kind of mix between a Shakespeare masterpiece and a hot drink?...
Tony Blair in Texas for Slumber-Party
President George 'Bush' Dubya welcomed British Prime Minister Tony Blair to his ranch in Texas today, promising him the best sleep-over ever. George has a whole load of "neat" things to do, including staying up all night playing on...
Prehistoric Weather Forecast, with Michael Fish
Hello?I'm sorry to say that somewhat changeable weather has been the norm of late, with the fine sunshine we saw at around 410 million years BC during the Palaeozoic epoch slowly moving away to be replaced by showers, particularly as we progress...
Queen Mum Meets Uncle Buck
In Heaven today, the Queen Mother met the loveable fat git John Candy, better known as Uncle Buck. Despite her well-known warmth towards other people, she could not help but comment on his extreme obesity.
American Upset by Real World
Traumatised American woman sues Terror Arafat on grounds that Palestinian terrorism causes her emotional distress when it is on the news. She claims that she developed "I'm a victim" syndrome by watching 72 days of rolling CNN coverage...
Queen Mum actually died in 1997
Buckingham Palace are today said to be furious over revelations that Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother actually died in 1997.
Gun nuts lobby to outlaw shooting deaths
American right wing gun nuts the NRA today declared plans to lobby the government in a bid to outlaw death by shooting. The Bill, if successful, would see those shot to death by guns receive a substantial fine, prison sentence or even the death penal...
Woody Allen Eats Underage Girls
The world famous movie-maker Woody Allen is at the centre of sickening allegations concerning his involvement with underage girls. It is alleged that he heats girls as young as 15 to two hundred degrees Celsius in his oven, marinades them, cuts them...
Dame Judi and Jonathan King: A Romance
She was a non-black Oscar nominee with the quiet sophistication of a 1920s porn film. He was a disgusting child molester with an even more disgusting array of party tunes. Yet romance blossomed between this, the oddest of couples, despite the perso...
Duncan-Smith: Blair
Prime Minister's question time was in disarray today after opposition leader Ian Duncan-Smith persistently questioned Tony Blair on whether or not he regularly wore his wife's underclothing.
Laughsend bought by AOL-TW
In one of the most unexpected events of the year Laughsend .com has been bought out by AOL-TW.
Cheney Sells Shares in Enron and Flees to Kandahar
Tampa Fl April 1st General Tommy Franks announced today a new plan in the war on terror. Army special forces in Kandahar, Afghanistan were instructed to abandon their search for Osama Bin Laden and his Al Quaida lieutenants and instead to re-organi...
Pamela Anderson Joins Convent!
Pamela Anderson, the baywatch babe with the enormous...assets, joined a convent early Thursday morning. After contracting Hepatitis C (amongst other VDs) from ex-hubby, Tommy Lee, she has apparently decided to swear off men.
Employers Fear Terrible Weapons
Employers have been forced to adapt to the new threat of weapons of mass destruction being employed in their firm. A recent Graduate Employment test has incorporated a test to prevent nuclear, chemical or biological weapons from being inadvertently...
Timberlake Demands Britney Gifts Back
Annoyingly sugar-sweet and bland ex-couple Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears have reportedly broken up, and the teenage temper tantrums are already in progress. Timberlake, real name Omar Al-Bomber, has apparently demanded Britney to "return...
Ken Livingston taxes pedestrians
During last nights 'State of London' press conference, London Mayor Ken Livingston confirmed his plans to extend the plans for congestion charges to include pedestrians. Following a 3-week study by leading research group Payas Lotts...
Wooden Man to Sue Marlboro
A man made of the finest oak in all Staffordshire has launched an audacious legal challenge to the tobacco companies, claiming that he was not warned of the danger cigarettes posed to people of flammable material. He claims that the loss of his face...
Hereford Utd to bid for Olympics
Hereford United have made a bid to host the 2004 Summer Olympics. The Conference team were quick to shake off any allegations that Athens had already been picked as a location for the next athletics competition, saying "Sod those stupid fat Gre...
Delia Smith to become a Saint
Delia Smith, the celebrity TV millionairess cook, is have sainthood bestowed upon her. Her title will become Saint Delia of Norwich, Patron Saint of Cutlery. This adds to her already overlong list of titles the popular chef has acquired. She has b...
Flying Pig Spotted In Durham
No less than 78 people spotted a flying pig in Durham yesterday. The event occurred at around 1:30pm and said pig continued to soar about for approximately an hour, much to the amazement of the crowd that gathered in awe.
Britney Spears to date J.C. Chasez
Britney Spears dumped lead singer, Justin Timberlake for fellow 'Nsync member, J.C. Chasez.
Neighbours Gets New Family!
Aussie soap "Neighbours" is to replace the families killed in the forthcoming ant-eater disaster episodes with a new, more hard-hitting, more realistic family. TheSpoof.com brings you the details of who they are exclusively.
Big Brother to help homeless
Following poor ratings for the current Big Brother series, television production company Banal today announced exciting changes for the inevitable sequel. Entitled 'Big Brother: Gimme Shelter!' the series will follow the same format, however...
Ronnie Corbett 'Not Genuine Article' - Shock
The World's ex best-loved comedian, Ronnie Corbett, has made an amazing confession to his loyal fans: "I am not really me," the jovial funnyman said yesterday evening. "I am, in actual fact, a scaled down replica of myself."...
Falklands War 2
In a tribute to the twentieth anniversary of the Falklands War, the UK have decided to have another one. Speaking in the House of Commons today, defence minister Geoff Hoon angrily stated that the army was to bomb the islands in the followin...
British Boffins Bemusing Biggie 'Bout Big Bang
Cosmologists at Cambridge University have published what leading Boffins have hailed as 'The Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything'. After 25 years of non stop head banging, teeth gnashing, mind ripping effort, a small team of little kn...
Prince Charles to be next Queen?
Shocking developments have been taking place at Buckingham Palace today after an insider leaked that Prince Charles would not be King Charles VI after his mother's death, but Queen Charles I!...
Crazy horse burns innocent victims
A huge wooden horse has been storming through the normally peaceful English countryside setting innocent people on fire.
Bin Laden Found In Chiskwick
Osama Bin Laden, the leader of the terrorist group Al-Quada, has finally been found in Chiskwick. The Afghanistani was spotted squatting in an abandoned Ford Fiesta in Chiswick Tesco Car park. After investigating, police discovered that Mr Bin Laden...
Pope discovered dead
Scientists have discovered in recent tests that Pope John Paul II is in fact dead. The head of the catholic church apparently ceased to be alive several years ago, when he was unfortunate to come into contact with Sir Cliff Richard.
'Trendy' Teenager Caught Using Public Phone!
Shame-faced fourteen-year-old, Katie Billocks, was spotted making a call from a public phone booth yesterday evening.
More than 10 ways to blow a horse?
On the southern most tip of Madagascar an man named Ungoola Mekijeridub made the astounding discovery that there are in fact many more than 10 ways to blow a horse (or other four legged, quite large animal).
Osama Bin Laden Goes To Hell
After the unprecedented move of Osama Bin Laden to ABC he became violent and angry, ABC sought action to remove Bin Laden from their station and anything to do with it.
Terror Union: "Credit where credit's due!"
Unions are complaining about an identity crisis for terrorism, where entire peoples are called terrorists, and the blame for anything bad that the government doesn't feel like taking the rap for is shifted the terrorists way. "It's simp...
Everyone To Die
Today we can exclusivley reveal that top scientists have exclusivley revealed that all of us will probably die at some point in our lives.
20th Hijacker Admits Sleeping In
The so-called 20th hijacker, who was due to take part in the 9/11 September 11th suicide attacks admitted in court today that he slept in on the morning of the event. "I was meant to be the navigator for the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania,...
Bill Gates Drugs Spoof Writers
Bill Gates has got his own back on spoof news journalists, parody-writers, jealous scorn-mongers and the humourless robots who write "The Onion" by spiking all their Shredded Wheat with hallucinogenic drugs. TheSpoof has been particularly...
Foot and Mouth Survivors Strike Back
It's over a year since the massive cull of farm animals during the foot and mouth outbreak and we thought that the surviving animals had forgotten all about it. Not so. This reporter has disturbing news to report.
Tory Leader Finds Poor People
Leader of the Conservative Party, Ian Duncan-Smith, rap name D Smitty, expressed shock on his visit to Glasgow last week. "I couldn't believe that people live on council estates," said D Smitty, wiping a tear from his eye. It's al...
Senior Fear Factor opens to mixed reviews
Senior Fear Factor debuted to a captive aging audience last evening where six spunky seniors vied for the coveted grand prize: free Medicare benefits and lifetime accommodations at La Fonda del Muerta, the premiere senior care resort of the...
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