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0#10646#Colonel Juan#40120.6128819#1
Why Bother To Buy A Newspaper When You Can Make It Up?
Sound advice to a Spoof writer
10#8514#Bureau#40120.6117014#2
He Would Never Shut Up!
President Obama's "media in his pocket" spin his running VP Joe Biden through a wood chipper yesterday as a safety message to all Americans to use care with these machines.
10#10870#Tcoah#40120.6080671#3
Kate Winslet with Purring Body Shape
Driven to getting her body into perfect shape Kate Winslet has exercised herself to within an inch of perfection. "It's so important for women to look above their best," said KW.
10#8514#Bureau#40120.6079167#4
President Seems Down
Obama depressed, distant since spilling whole cup of coffee on his Amazing Fantasy #15, the first appearance of the Spiderman, comic, says Michelle.
10#8514#Bureau#40120.6058218#5
Court Rules On Privacy
Right To Privacy not guaranteed by constitution, says Supreme Court in case broke to court by Mormon husband of 19, father of 59.
10#8514#Bureau#40120.6021875#6
Practice, Just In Case
Although Fed Chairman Bernanke reassured the American people that the economy is improving, he stated that it wouldn't hurt to have soup line drills every few months.
10#8514#Bureau#40120.6006944#7
Hillary Says She's OK
Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton reassures her supporters that she does not have cancer. "Had to shave my head after getting head lice on recent Mideast visit."
10#8514#Bureau#40120.597662#8
Obama Repeats Speech
President Obama repeats earlier speech on environment at a national forest drownded out by noisy woodpecker. Apologizes for woodpecker rocking.
10#8514#Bureau#40120.5957523#9
"We Have Proof!"
Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accused the United Nations of developing their own nuclear weapons.
10#8514#Bureau#40120.594375#10
Another Brilliant Speech
President Obama last night in his nightly message that terrorists could strike on other days than 911.
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