Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by Exislanda.
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Caught out speeding.
Late one evening a woman is pulled over by the police for speeding....
Farmer's Boy
A farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbours, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. Is your Dad home?...
German sex
A German guy abroad approaches a local lady of the night....
Two 'Elderly' Doctor vists
A doctor placed his stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patients anterior chest wall....
Baby's first doctor visit
A woman and a baby were in the doctors examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the babys first exam....
Best Pig in Show
Farmer George and Farmer William always competed hard for the best pig in show at the County Show. For six years straight, Georges prize boar Napoleon had been the champion, but Williams Attila was always...
11 on a rope
Eleven people were hanging from a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, they were all going to fall. They...
A man goes into a pub......(4)
and he has a box under his arm. Calling for everyones attention he declares, From this box I will produce the most beautiful piano solo that you have ever heard, just by tapping on it. I want you all to give...
A man goes into a pub......(3)
and he has a cat under his arm. Milo my cat can play the piano. If you dont believe me, he will show you. I want you all to give $20.00 down to the barman, and if Milo doesnt play a tune, then Ill give you all...
A man goes into a pub......(2)
and he had a dog under his arm. Kipper my dog is a performing dog and can do tricks for me. He commands the dog to beg, to stand on his head, to turn a summersault and lots of other cleaver things. After the...
A man goes into a pub…….(1)
and it is crowded, he fights his way to the bar and orders a pint. He had hardly taken a sip when he felt the need to visit the loo. Thinking, if I take my drink with me Ill probably spill a lot. If I leave it...
Th'ol' wan.
A family take their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home in Dublin and leaves her as planned, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast including All...
Everything I need
A married couple is driving down the road; the wife is behind the wheel going a steady 40 miles per hour.. I want a divorce. the husband suddenly said. The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but...
An intelligent blond?
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says shes going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank would...
Alligator shoes
A young blonde was on Spring Break in the Everglades. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After...
Engine trouble
There were two blonde students flying to the Caribbean for Spring Break. Two hours into the flight, the pilot gets on the intercom and says, We just lost an engine, but its all right, we have three more....
In the Family
A poor old man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital. As he was recovering, a nun...
Desert Islanda
Two old lawyers had been stranded on a desert island 30 years. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food, and each day one of the old lawyers would climb...
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