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Showing jokes submitted by The San Francisco Onion.


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A..... walks into a bar (best of)

A collection of some of my favorites over the years. Enjoy!...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 29 December 2009

Establishing communications with a wife beater

Q: What do you say to a wife beater who has a black eye and a fat lip?...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 07 December 2009

Lipstick Lesbian Weight Loss

Q: Why do lesbians who wear makeup have so much trouble losing weight?...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 15 August 2009

Tarzan Gets Emergency Reconstructive Surgery

The King of the Jungle was out for a swing one day. As luck would have it, he took his eyes off the jungle for just a moment to adjust his loincloth, and slammed into a tree....

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 03 August 2009

All in good fun

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 03 August 2009

Just kidding... I like the Grateful Dead.

Q: How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 03 August 2009

Why Firetrucks Are Red

Well... Two plus two is four. Four times three is twelve. There are twelve inches in a ruler. Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. The Queen Elizabeth was also a ship....

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 03 August 2009

A Trashy Joke

Q: Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 02 August 2009

Going to great lengths

I have finally found a way to make my penis 12-inches long... Fold it in half!...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 01 August 2009

Food for thought...

If vegetarians eat vegetables, does that make Jeffrey Dahmer a humanitarian? If I am what I eat, and I am a human being, what does that say about my diet? Clearly...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 14 July 2009

"King of Pop Bottles"

St. Peter reportedly told Jacko upon the King of Pops arrival at Heavens gates that he would not be spending eternity there after all; being 80% plastic, Jackson was...

submitted by The San Francisco Onion, 06 July 2009
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