Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by The San Francisco Onion.
Show all jokes.
A..... walks into a bar (best of)
A collection of some of my favorites over the years. Enjoy!...
Establishing communications with a wife beater
Q: What do you say to a wife beater who has a black eye and a fat lip?...
Lipstick Lesbian Weight Loss
Q: Why do lesbians who wear makeup have so much trouble losing weight?...
Tarzan Gets Emergency Reconstructive Surgery
The King of the Jungle was out for a swing one day. As luck would have it, he took his eyes off the jungle for just a moment to adjust his loincloth, and slammed into a tree....
All in good fun
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?...
Just kidding... I like the Grateful Dead.
Q: How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?...
Why Firetrucks Are Red
Well... Two plus two is four. Four times three is twelve. There are twelve inches in a ruler. Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. The Queen Elizabeth was also a ship....
A Trashy Joke
Q: Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!...
Going to great lengths
I have finally found a way to make my penis 12-inches long... Fold it in half!...
Food for thought...
If vegetarians eat vegetables, does that make Jeffrey Dahmer a humanitarian? If I am what I eat, and I am a human being, what does that say about my diet? Clearly...
"King of Pop Bottles"
St. Peter reportedly told Jacko upon the King of Pops arrival at Heavens gates that he would not be spending eternity there after all; being 80% plastic, Jackson was...
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