Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by Rusty.
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Professions
Three guys and a gal were sitting at the bar talking about their professions....
Big Bad Wolf
One night at a club Little Red Riding hood and the Big Bad Wolf were getting their groove on....
What Daddy wants from Mummy?
One day a teacher had a taste test with her students....
Politically-Correct term for a Redneck?
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians...
Female logic ?
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who...
Trusting Burglar
A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very...
Knucks: Snap-frozen Yanks!
You boast you have the best view of the Niagara Falls even if youve never seen them. You design your Halloween costume to...
Gromet and his brothers.
Three men are sat around the camp fire, knocking back a few whiskeys and chewing the duck fat. The conversation soon turned...
Maning a personal point
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face...
Strongest Man Competition
The local pub was so sure that its landlord was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him. The challenge was that the landlord would squeeze a lemon until all...
Testing Times
A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the...
Vino Collapso trio
This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out. The tramp said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick. The barman, thinking this was a fair...
The Businessman
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot...
Job Interview
A guy went for an interview for a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours. At the final interview part, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers. I...
No Need To Pay
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, Whatll you have? The guy answers, A scotch, please. The bartender hands him the drink, and says Thatll be five dollars, to which the guy replies, What...
One for the road
A man walks in to a bar with a big cob of tarmac under his arm and says A pint please, landlord, then added Oh, and give me one for the road as well....
Cinderella Wishes
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Charming for...
Not too kosher
A lawyer and two friends--a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man--had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, There might be a problem. You see, I only have...
Wrong arm of the Law?
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see...
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