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Showing jokes submitted by Steddyeddy.


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The Joey Essex saga.....

Sad news today about Joey Essexs brain transplant. It didnt work, as it rejected him. Rumour has it that when he was born, the midwife slapped his mother. It was a difficult birth, because he was...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 07 March 2014

Twitter and more

Man goes into the doctors and says Im addicted to Twitter. Doctor replies, Sorry, I dont follow you. Ive just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Ill tell you what. Never again. How can you text...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 09 July 2012

RyanAir upgrade

Decided to take a break in Ireland and booked to go by budget airline RyanAir. After paying only £9.95 for the flight, all I had to pay was £30 for a small bag, £6 booking fee, £6 seat fee, £15...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 10 May 2011

What a week I've had.....

A computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. And then I had a drink stand at a local coffeemorning - I gave the first glass away free and charged ten quid for the second glass. The second contained the antidote....

submitted by Steddyeddy, 06 May 2011

Table for the wife

It was the wifes special day last Saturday, so I thought Id take her out for a special treat. I booked a table for eight oclock...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 01 April 2011

Table for the wife

it was the wifes special day last Saturday, so I thought Id take her out for a special treat. I booked a table for eight oclock...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 01 April 2011

Alzheimer's

My pal Mike came around to the house last night and he was in a totally demented state. Like an Iranian president, only more human....

submitted by Steddyeddy, 03 March 2011

Great Western Railway

Despite its name, the Great Western Railway is not...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

Blond girls not steroetypical

Blonde girls are not as stereotypically dumb as people make them out to be. In tests where a group of blonds were asked If you can guess how...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

Fascist Quakers

The Fascist Quakers of Boston declare...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

Jehovah's Bystander

A Jehovahs Bystander is simply a Jehovahs...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

The man who invented crosswords

No one can remember the name of the Englishman who invented crosswords....

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

Fly spray

A can of fly spray, contrary to the message on the can,...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

Flourescent tubes

Offering counselling to fluorescent tubes does not necessarily...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

The Cannibals of the West Amazonian Region

The Cannibals of the West Amazonian Region have recently been struck...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

A man get's knocked down

The UKs roads are becoming so dangerous that a man gets nocked down...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 12 June 2009

Diving me mad

A man in the swimming pool was on the very top diving board. He poised elegently, lifted his arms, and was just about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, Dont dive? theres no water in...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 18 October 2008

Refuse collection

The Reading domestic remainder clearance technicians (binmen) were just about to leave Arcadia Street when a lady came running out of her house carrying a bag of kitchen remains. Am I too late for the...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 18 October 2008

Diver's delights

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever. The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 16 October 2008

Policeman on M25

I was stopped by a policeman while driving along the M25. I stopped, opened the window, and he said This is a spot check So I told him Ive got two blackheads on my chin and a boil on my ar*e....

submitted by Steddyeddy, 14 October 2008

Onion vs Girls Aloud

Whats the difference between an onion and a Girls Aloud DVD? No one cries when you chop up a Girls Aloud DVD...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 14 October 2008

Wife vs Terrorist

Whats the difference between a wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist....

submitted by Steddyeddy, 14 October 2008

Good news, worse news

Fred gets a call from his doctor with the results of some blood test. Ive got bad news and worse news, says the doctor. The bad news is that youve only got 24 hours to live. Oh no! says Bob. Thats shocking....

submitted by Steddyeddy, 05 October 2008

Chicken for dinner

A waiter asks a man, May I take your order, sir? Yes, the man replies. Im just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens? Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that theyre going to...

submitted by Steddyeddy, 06 September 2008
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