Showing jokes submitted by Samuel Vargo.

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Every woman's dream

A lonely middle-aged woman, not a bad looker, but a girl lacking in personality and charisma, couldnt find a guy around her town so she went to market on the Internet and displayed the following advertisement...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 09 April 2017

A dialogue heard between Betsy Devos and Paul Ryan -

During lunch in an upscale restaurant near the White House, Betsy Devos and Paul Ryan sat in saturnine melancholy. Things werent going well for the new Presidential administration. Nor the Congress. They...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 11 March 2017

Betsy Devos changes the shape of the world

Betsy Devos, the new Secretary of Education, called a meeting of all media to the White House yesterday. The American media was filled with joy and gratitude since the Gropenfuher more or less banned...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 11 March 2017

A positive moonbeam for the soul -

A wise man told me he had one wish and one wish only. I dont ask for much, but I love peace and serenity. I live for it. I love it. I feed off it, he said. You can say Im a peace nut. Sure, Ive got money,...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 14 February 2015

Lunchtime Disaster

Three construction workers who were working on a 90-story building in Manhattan ate lunch with each other every day. They all brought brown-bagged lunches. This sure is getting old. The same egg-salad sandwiches...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 21 January 2015

"The cow's got to be from Michigan"

A farmer bought a beautiful dairy cow, a dappled black and white thing. He spent a hefty amount of money for the cow and bought it from a farmer friend in Michigan. The New Jersey farmer discovered that...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 12 January 2015

Just Stuff Him and Keep this Party Going!

Jupp Jupson had a wake and a flock of his friends from the Tally Ho Bar dropped by the funeral home. According to Jupps wishes in his living will, he had a wake with a couple of kegs of beer and a barrooms...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 04 January 2015

"I don't know what they said"

So Horowitz and Leibenstein had to go to the funeral of their friend, Abelson, and they visited Pinkus, who owned a clothing store. They wanted to look good for the funeral and both decided theyd go in...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 03 November 2014

"Converts Needed"

So Goldstein and Shapiro were taking a walk after a hearty lunch of pasta and meatballs in Little Italy and the two passed a Roman Catholic Church with a big sign in front that read Converts Needed -...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 29 September 2014

Jacko gets a frog that transforms into a blonde bombshell -

My neighbor Jacko, always the animal lover, rescued a frog from a snowbank the other day. Always a sucker for a poor animal thats up against the world, Jacko stopped his car, got out, and pulled the frog...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 06 January 2014

My neighbor Jacko Cures a parrot of using profanity

My neighbor Jacko got a parrot from the animal shelter. These birds go for a good thousand bucks each and Jacko was so pleased that he got his parrot au gratis from the WE CARE Dogs, Cats, Rodents Snakes...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 31 December 2013

What are those three firemen doing on camels?

A guy from Detroit visited a small city in Mississippi over the holidays. He wanted to get to Mardi Gras for Fat Tuesday and was giving himself enough time to stop at every roadhouse, tavern, and casino...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 24 December 2013

Painted by a Painted Lady

I was driving along a blighted stretch of street the other day and pulled into a convenient store for refreshment. A tattooed boozehound ran up to me and this hideous woman said, Ill do anything for ten...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 22 December 2013

A stubble-faced bum in a zoot suit happens upon a magic genie bottle

- as hes walking along the boardwalk at the break of dawn. A genie pops out of the bottle and the bums shocked, thinking that hes actually seeing things. Your wish is my command, the genie says. Really?...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 13 October 2013

A guy walks into a bar and immediately orders 15 shots -

So the bartender pours 15 shots all in a row in those stupid plastic cups. The guy woofs them down very, very quickly. Do you always do that? Order a boatload of shots and then drink them down faster than...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 13 October 2013

A muskrat with its paw caught in a trap was cautioned by another muskrat -

Youve got to chew off that leg so you can get out of that trap, the muskrat friend said. I cant, I cant. Just cant do it, the muskrat that was caught said. The other muskrat ran away, but had its leg caught...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 02 September 2013

Baron Davis Says He Was Abducted by Aliens -

The former NBA player said on The Champs Podcast that he was abducted by aliens driving from Las Vegas to Los Angeles. During the long ride, he ate with them at an In-N-Out Burger. Now thats weird. And...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 29 July 2013

They say the fans in Philadelphia are the most hostile in the world -

Questions: a) So whats more dangerous than walking into a gargantuan slaughterhouse in Iowa wearing a PETA jacket. Youre carrying a camcorder and asking a 6-foot-6 ogre with a bloody apron on, whos holding...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 23 July 2013

North West Is Just Too Close to Home for those Living in England:

Naming Kim Kardashians and Kanye Wests kid North West was just a bit too close to home for the English. Whats that - Ireland, or maybe Scotland? The English...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 30 June 2013
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