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Showing jokes submitted by Michael Balton.


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Burns and Allen in the 21st Century

George: In the 21st century, there are two popes at the same time. Imagine what will happen when they put their heads together....

submitted by Michael Balton, 08 April 2014

Why did the chicken?

[Two old birds are heading south for the winter, flying together, passing the time with small talk, and getting on each others nerves:]...

submitted by Michael Balton, 14 October 2012

Roe, Roe, Roe Your Vote

[A duck and a chicken are having a political discussion:]...

submitted by Michael Balton, 14 October 2012

The Misadventures of Fred Wilpon, Victim of Bernie Madoff

I hear they just put Fred Wilpon, the owner of the New York Mets, on the 90 day disabled list....

submitted by Michael Balton, 02 April 2012

Where's Walmart?

Walmart has over 8,500 stores in 15 countries, under a variety of different names. It operates in Mexico as Walmex, in the United Kingdom as Asda, in China as Maomart, in Pakistan as Fatwamart, in Russia...

submitted by Michael Balton, 24 October 2011

Top Five Signs That It's Autumn in New York

5 -Letterman stops with the how hot was it? jokes. 4 -The subways start smelling like maple syrup. Or is that urine? 3 -The Rangers try out some new preseason excuses. 2 -Bloomberg switches to his heavier...

submitted by Michael Balton, 23 September 2011

Gracie gets a dog

George: Do you have a license for Fido? Gracie: I could only get a learners permit. (George checks if his cigar is still lit.) Gracie: Do you think Fido is too old? George: Too old for what? Gracie: The new...

submitted by Michael Balton, 17 August 2011

Last Call

A man walks into a bar and is astonished to discover that the bartender is St. Peter. The man gets up his nerve and approaches the saint: St. Peter, shouldnt you be guarding the pearly gates? Peter replies:...

submitted by Michael Balton, 22 July 2011
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