Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by Herrdoktorfox.
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Ethnic
A Scotsman takes a huge jar of urine to a clinic and pays to have it tested. When the results come back he discovers that there is absolutely no sign...
Viagra
A man goes to his doctor and asks for three Viagra tablets. !I have a girl coming round Friday, explains the man, and another on Saturday, and a third on Sunday.The doctor gives him the tablets...
Work!
How about a blow job? said the prostitute to the Irishman. Oh, no, no, no, replied the Irishman, It might affect me unemployment benefit....
Panties
A woman wanted to surprise her husband, so she bought a pair of crothless panties. When her husband got home from work, he found his wife spread eagled on the floor with the panties on. You want...
Salty Dog
It was the HMS Victory and only moments to go before Nelsons death. He beckoned Hardy forward and said, Kiss me Hardy. Now he asks me. muttered Hardy,after all this bloody time at sea, the bitch!...
Mind your manners.
Cynthia had invited the Womens Institute round to her country estate for afternoon tea. As she offered them cakes, her 14 year-old son came hurtling into the room, chasing a black and white cat....
"M'lud!"
First and foremost, Sir Henry Pennington was a true aristocrat who believed in the stiff upper lip, true patriotism and the right and proper etiquette. One night he returned early from his club to...
Something for the weekend sir?
A man walked into Boots te chemist and asked the feisty young salegirl for one hundred condoms. Well, fuck me!! she exclaimed. In that case, make it 101, he replied....
"Evening all!"
A Policeman on the beat (?) discovered a couple shagging furiously in the local park. As he watched, he started to get the urge himself and, recognising the woman as one of the local tarts, he said, Mind...
Sheer Madness
The ward sister was doing her rounds in the lunatic asylum when she noticed that one man was racing around the room with his arms spread out making zooming noises. Hello, Colin, she said, What are you doing?...
Infidelity
A man came home early from work to find his wife in bed with another man. What the hell are you doing? he screamed. Im listening to the music, said the stranger who had his head between the wifes ample breasts....
Doggone!
The woman had to confess that the grazes on her knees and elbows were due to having sex doggy-style in the outside yard. My goodness! exclaimed the doctor, why on earth dont you do it in a more convenional way?...
HONEYMOON
The honeymooners arrive at the 4-star hotel, covered in confetti. Aha! said the receptionist, youll be wanting the bridal. Oh no, blushed the bride, Ill just hang on to his ears until I get use to it....
Scotland the brave?
Why to Scotsmen wear kilts? So the sheep wont hear the zips!...
Oz
An Australian tourist travelling through Wales sees a farmer with the back legs of a sheep stuck down his wellingtons. Are you shearing that sheep? he asks. No bloody way! comes the reply. Catch your own!...
Birth blues
Poor old Freddie. He was a Caesarean baby and even now, 30 years...
End Game
A good time girl went to into a DIY store to buy some hinges. When...
Doctor Doctor!
A man goes to the Doctor with a most unusual complaint. His penis is...
In Court
I want a divorce, said the woman to her lawyer. And can you tell me...
At The Cinema
Taking his girlfriend to the cinema, the mans wig off when they were...
In Hospital
A man went into hospital to have a penis transplant, having lost his...
In The Restaurant
I went for a meal in a Kosher restaurant the other night and said to...
Romance
Darling, quick, in here, said the curvacous sexy Italian woman excitedly....
Scary Tale
A TV reporter goes to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary...
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