Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by j.w..
Show all jokes.
A Difficult Decision
I was called into the Bosss Office and I knew it was bad news....
A Last Wish
A plane got into trouble and was clearly going to crash. A young woman decided she wanted a last wish and quickly removed all her clothes....
Olympic Condoms
I discovered a really good set of condoms for sale called Olympic Condoms. They were in three colours - naturally Gold, Silver and Bronze...
Too Good To Be True
I met this bloke who had recently been to London....
Bird Brains
Two young blokes who are out the impress their girl friends go into a pet shop and ask if they can buy two budgies....
Paying the Bill
A seedy American politician was arguing with his irate wife about the forthcoming Abortion Bill, when he had to decide how to vote....
Greeting the Famous
My wife has been teaching our daughter the etiquette of greeting famous people....
Blind Date Tragedy
I went on this blind date with a girl who slowly began to bore me to death with her tales of her unhappy childhood and the terrible job she was doing....
Converts Amazing Discovery
As a long term cynical Atheist I suddenly got a message from the other world telling me that I must become a true Believer or I would be damned for ever....
The Atheist's God
If truth be told many an Atheist will call on God when faced with a deadly peril. This happened to me when when I was in Africa. I went for a walk in the bush and came across this angry lion....
Not Quite Dead
I went to this funeral of my friends wife and the pall bearers had obviously had a bit too much to drink and when carrying the coffin into the mortuary knocked against the wall. There was a loud moan...
Amazing Scientific Advances
I was suffering from a bad back so I asked a friend in the pub if he knew how to cure it. Theres this new invention he said you give a sample of urine and it can tell you how to deal with a problem. I...
Helpful Advice
A flying saucer was circling over London but the pilot had lost all communication due to an electrical failure and didnt know where he was exactly. So he took a sheet of paper and wrote Where Am I? in...
How Old Can You Get?
I was on holiday with my wife, visiting old haunts of my youth. I wanted something to read and went into a charity shop to see what I could find. I thought I recognised the old lady serving at the counter...
Password Problems
My wife, always happy to help me out, has altered our password on our computer to something I will never forget. Our wedding anniversary. She knows I can never remember it. But I have helped her out in my own...
A Disastrous Christmas
Everything has gone wrong this Christmas. I gave Mrs Nicols, a woman who has everything a bullet. This was an idea of my husbands. She put it in her gun and shot her husband! Then my husband said he had got...
Consequences
An old man facing an operation wanted his son, a renowned Doctor, to carry out the procedure. On the operating table the father said to the son: I hope you will do your best son. But be comforted by knowing that...
Send To A Friend
Send this site to a friend!