Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by Nae mair crap.
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CamillaCar
If Camilla had not wound down the car window and shouted, Let...
Sepp Blatter
Sepp Blatter, president of FIFA is asked, whos your favourite...
Mair crap
Two Yanks in an Aberdeen cafe: One asks waitress for 2 horse...
The three lions sleep tonight
In the jungle, the South African jungle, three lions sleep tonight....
Make someone happy
The England World Cup squad visited an orphanage in South Africa today....
Happy Birthday Fergie
Fergies just got her birthday present from HM...
You can say that again
Two drug addicts sitting in a shop doorway. One...
Pythagoras theorem - not quite!
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one...
Happy ever after
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl to marry him. The girls turned him down. And the guy lived happily ever after. He rode motorcycles, went fishing and hunting and played a lot of golf. He drank a...
Take him down
I was taking the piss out of a bloke with a ridiculous wig today. He had the last laugh though. Sentenced me to 3 years...
Hamster joke
I bought my girlfriend a fur coat made out of 2350 hamster skins the other day. I took her...
Old but still good
Tiger Woods Ashley Cole John Terry Vernon Kay Mark Owen What have they all got in common?...
Aussie joke
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least...
How do you like your eggs?
Do you like eggs? Yes, unfertilised and in the next room thanks!!...
Ready, aim, fire
I was going through a couple of magazines down the local mosque the other...
Benefits for all
I just signed my dog up for Job Seekers Allowance. He should be eligible....
Viagra
Guy in hospital with 60% burns. Doctor says, Give him 2 Viagras nurse Nurse...
Desperation
Two blokes sitting in a pub, one says After 10 years of marriage, sex is down...
Hitman
Guys hires a hitman to bumpoff his wife of 40 years. The hitman says It will take...
Don't get in the pool
whats more annoying than a dog chewing your...
John Terry again..........
Its been revealed why Wayne Bridge did not shake John Terrys hand. Apparently,...
Knit 1 Plain1 repeat to end
Police are looking for a man who has so far stabbed 6 people to death with knitting...
RIP
As the coffin as being lowered into the grave at a funeral for a traffic warden, a voice...
Achilles heel
Q What do you call a man who cant spell achilles heel? A A dictionary! Q What do you call...
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