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Showing jokes submitted by ExiledRoyal.


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Holiday in May?

When might we take the kids to Disneyland? the wife asked me a few weeks ago....

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 01 May 2013

Nothing but the truth ...

I was telling my mate about you, I said to my wife. I told him youre fat, lazy, ugly, you fart in public, your personal hygiene is almost non-existent ......

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 28 April 2013

Irish Cruise Nightmare

Me and the wife booked a ferry over to Ireland. It was a fucking nightmare....

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 24 April 2013

Mission to Mars

Dutch organisation Mars One says it will open applications for flights to Mars imminently. It would be a one-way trip, and the company hopes to build a community of settlers on the planet....

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 17 April 2013

I'm not saying the wife annoys me but...

Have you been down in the cellar? asked my wife. Im sure I can hear music....

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 11 April 2013

Katie P for TJ's!

Katie Price aka Jordan is going to be the new face of T.J. Hughes. Surely theres been a mis-match?...

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 11 April 2013

It's a conspiracy

Consider the following:...

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 11 April 2013

The Incredible Hulk

I was watching a scene today where the Incredible Hulk smashes up a supermarket, terrorising the customers, leaving cans spinning all over the floor and then breaks through the doors into the car park....

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 14 November 2011

Scientology

Scientology believes that illness doesnt really exist, that its all in the mind. I was talking to a bloke at work who believes that kind of thing, and was telling him that my dad was ill. No, hes not...

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 14 November 2011

Gavin

I was talking to our neighbours 6 year old kid over the garden fence yesterday, as I was washing the car. What do you like doing, Gavin? I like doing women, he replied. A bit shocked I asked him, And...

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 14 November 2011

Let's nick the Crown Jewels

The Government recently announced that first-time burglars will no longer receive a custodial sentence, but will be given community service instead. With that in mind I am looking for three other law-abiding...

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 10 November 2011

How many women have I slept with?

My wife and I were discussing our sexual histories. She was recalling some of her old boyfriends. After a while she turned to me. She said, OK, your turn. How many women have you slept with? I thought for a...

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 16 January 2011

Drinking game

Heres a drinking game to entertain you. Get six mates and all sit in a circle. Each one of you has a bottle of vodka in front of you. On the command Go everyone has to drink their bottle as fast as they can....

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 14 January 2011

French misunderstanding

Dont you ever have that experience where you think you know someone, but you dont know them at all? I was talking with a French friend of mine what he wanted most in life. He thought for a while and then replied...

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 13 January 2011

Lucky Gunman

Manis drinking in a Dublin pub. Suddenly a pistol is pushed into his guts and a voice says, Catholic or Protestant? Mani relaxes. Neither, Im Jewish. Well arent I the luckiest Mujahadeen in all of Ireland then....

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 13 May 2010
Showing page 1 (of 1 pages)


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