Jokes

All jokes submitted by Xinix Xaxx.

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Circle Flies

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable....

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Time to Lie

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, What are all those clocks? Saint Peter answered, Those are...

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In Heaven, nobody can hear you scream

A cat died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the gate, an angel asked: Welcome to heaven. What can I get for you to make you happy today? The cat replied: Oh, I sure would love a nice, soft pillow! And so,...

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Really Stupid Dog

One day at a meat shop a dog walks in and the butcher shoos him away. About 5 minutes later he comes back with $10 and a note saying 2lbs of steak surprised the butcher reluctantly takes the money and...

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Taliban shorties

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1... Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble. Q: What is the Talibans national bird? A: Duck...

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Is this a joke or a lesson?

Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went...

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All the Yo Momma Jokes You Could Ever Need!

* Yo mommas so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go! * Yo mama so dumb she stared at da orange juice bottle cause it said concentrate * Your momma is so fat that when she...

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Has tech taken you over?

30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life 1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beattys address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and...

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You're in an airplane.

A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments...

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Would they call it?

If a new deadly strain of influenza started killing Great Danes...

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The Traveling Salesman

A traveling salesman came up to a farm. It was late and the salesman...

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Buying a singing parrot

A guy goes into the pet shop and asks for a parrot. The clerk shows him...

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Here you are, my darling.

A man walked up to his wife just before bed and handed her some aspirin...

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The Male Point System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy....

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Yet another Blonde joke

(Change the word Blonde to anyone you think is dumb) Two blondes went to...

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Three guys and a lake

Three guys had to cross a lake. The first one prayed to God for the strength,...

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Cannibal Dinner

Two cannibals were eating a clown for dinner one night when one...

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How did Ben do it?

Most folks believe that Ben Franklin discovered electricity with...

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Good news and Bad news

Peter was a traveling salesman. One night, his car broke down and he had to beg for a place to sleep from an old woman. She told him he could come in and share her bed, if he would remind her what is...

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Baby Names

Billy Bobs pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she...

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Two fathers and one Mother

Two business men had affairs with their sexy twenty year old secretary. When she became pregnant, she confessed everything. The two men decided theyd share all the bills until the baby was born, then...

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Bad bus ride

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, Thats the ugliest baby Ive ever seen. In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus....

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You've Got Mail

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back...

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God Will Save Me

There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house. The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people...

Jokes

Circle Flies

Time to Lie

In Heaven, nobody can hear you scream

Really Stupid Dog

Taliban shorties

Is this a joke or a lesson?

All the Yo Momma Jokes You Could Ever Need!

Has tech taken you over?

You're in an airplane.

Would they call it?

The Traveling Salesman

Buying a singing parrot

Here you are, my darling.

The Male Point System

Yet another Blonde joke

Three guys and a lake

Cannibal Dinner

How did Ben do it?

Good news and Bad news

Baby Names

Two fathers and one Mother

Bad bus ride

You've Got Mail

God Will Save Me

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