Jokes
Prince Charles in Arabia
At a state banquet for Charles and Camilla in Doha tonight the Emir joked about how traces of horse hoof had been found in Charles Duchy Original sausages....
The Rich Bitch
Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just wont move at all....
BIG Chopper
A man comes up to the owner of a lumberjack business and says, I need a job and I think Im pretty good....
The Greatest Story Ever Told
Filming of George Stevens 1965 movie about the life of Jesus was beset with problems according to a recent Hollywood memoir....
The Papal Conclave
After a week of sombre contemplation a group of bored Cardinals decided to consult the Holy Spirit and throw an office party before the big vote....
The New Star Wars Movie
Word filtering out of LaLaLand is that production plans for the latest in the Star Wars franchise saga are presently being finalized. Reports are that Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Mark Hamill have...
Celibacy
At St Peters Basilica in Rome two elderly Cardinals were discussing the churchs celibacy rule ahead of voting for a new Pontiff. So whens the last time you shagged an altar boy, then? Eighty-something...
Elvis Presley's Love Child
Over drinks, one psychiatrist asked the other, What was your most difficult case? Once I had a patient who lived in a complete fantasy world, the second replied. He actually believed he was Elviss love...
Ghostbusters
Outtakes discovered on an old studio cutting room floor from the 1984 Ivan Reitman-directed supernatural comedy show just how close the movie got to X-rated farce. The original script saw actress Sigourney...
The Three Companies
Sam walks into his bosss office. Sir, Ill be straight with you, I know the economy isnt great, but I have over three companies very interested in me - theyre constantly calling, and I would like to respectfully...
Kim Jong-un
Basketball ace Dennis Rodman described today how hed been warned about North Koreans and their pooches ahead of last weeks trip to see Kim Jong-un. I was told to keep an eye out for dogs in Pyongyang, Rodman admitted,...
10 Maybe Made Up Facts About Coldplay
1. Chris Martin is a stage name. His real name is Martin Christopher. 2. If you play a Coldplay record backwards, you can get the London Paralympics and 2012 Olympics back. 3. Viva La Vida started out as a kareoki cover...
Fourteen New TV Channels
1. E4+24 Exactly the same programmes that were on yesterday, 24 hours later in case you missed. 2. E4 Bar None - The best of the best of E4 3. E4 All Bar One - A 24 hour channel filmed in a bar full of E4 presenters, actors...
Sins of the flesh
One of the Papal contenders has described how as a perverted young sinner living in the cannibal-infested Amazon jungle he unexpectedly got The Calling. I was a flesh-eating monster preying on a nun, the Cardinal recalled, determined...
The Fat Girl
A college freshman comes home after being away all semester. Aer father looks her up and down, then says, Arent you a lot fatter than when you went away? Yes, I am, Dad, the girl admits. I weigh 140 pounds, stripped for gym. The father...
The Wedding Cake
A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with 1 John 4:18 which reads There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the...
Dinner Time
Hubby to wife- whats in dinner ? wife- whatd you like ? Hubby- Chow chow . wife- dont have chow.. hubby- french fries ? wife- dont have potatoes . hubby- what then eh ? wife- whatd you like... hubby- lets go to Macdonalds ? or Barista.. wife-...
Oligarch divorce
A lurid war of words has broken out in the UK divorce courts where billionaire Russian oligarch Maxim De Pissoff is being sued for cruel and unusual treatment by long-suffering wife Tamara Willdoo. Buckling under cross-examination by the plaintiffs...
The Wedding Cake
A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with 1 John 4:18 which reads There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference,...
Police joke
A Policeman pulls over a driver on the highway after he finds the man speeding. Okay sir, whats the reason for going so fast? You were doing 100mph says the lawman. Officer, I was trying to get to the hospital. My partner is having a baby the gentleman replies....
The Woman's Dream
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentines day. What do you think it means? Youll know tonight. he said. That evening, the man came home...
Cannibal cop
A Brit chatroom blogger accused of egging on a NYPD officer to murder and eat his estranged wife may play the satire defence card a leading attorney said today. The suspect claims he was just pulling the...
Send To A Friend
Send this site to a friend!