Showing page 5 (of 579 pages)

MacDonald's Is Your Kind of Place

(To be sung to that tune so many of us in our 40s and 50s know so well)...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 22 May 2014

Pope christens ocean going ship for first time in history!

Pope Francis has christened an ocean going ship for the first time in the history of The Roman Catholic Church! The event took place yesterday afternoon at a boat yard in Venice, Italy!...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 19 May 2014

On the Beach

There was this bloke who fancied having sex with his wife but she said she couldnt do anything with the kids around....

submitted by j.w., 18 May 2014

French Maid Joke

A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He looked frustrated and said, Yeah, its top of the line, but I cant seem to get any programs to start up....

submitted by D P Whitehead, 17 May 2014


I bought a used car yesterday from a salesman. Only problem was he was trying to sell me steak knives. Day before I bought a set of encyclopedias...

submitted by whatinthe world, 07 May 2014

Irish Piss Process

Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams walks into Antrim Police Station saying he wants to make a statement about Boston Colleges oral hysteries concerning...

submitted by queen mudder, 06 May 2014

Super Sex!

A man wants to give his grandfather a special present for his 90th birthday, and decides to get him a call girl, since his grandmother passed away...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 06 May 2014

Nice Tie

A man walks into an almost deserted bar and sits down on a bar stool. The bartender walks over and takes the mans order. While the man sits there in the silence he hears a faint nice tie. He looks around,...

submitted by Catchthisdrift, 06 May 2014

Bus joke

Bus driver is carrying a load of aged people on day trip when a gang of hoodlums hold up the coach. They ask the driver to hand over everybodys wallets and valuables. The man asks all the passengers if they...

submitted by whatinthe world, 06 May 2014

Booze is evil!

Dont go in there! Its a sin to drink! Dont be a sinner! Booze is evil! a Nun shouts at a man as hes about to enter a pub. He takes exception to her demands, and asks her, How do you know drinking is so bad?...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 05 May 2014


The guy brought his broken-nosed, missing-yoothed, fat-lipped wife to AE. The young doctor asked what the fuck had happened to her. Her husband explained that the symptoms were a result of going through the change....

submitted by Blazing Saddle, 02 May 2014


There was this truck with ten giraffes standing in the back. A policeman stopped the truck and told the driver to take the giraffes to the local zoo. Very well, I will replied the driver. The next day the truck was...

submitted by j.w., 29 April 2014

Justin Bieber Finds A Man Tied To A Tree

One day Justin Bieber was walking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a man tied naked, face down to a large fallen tree. Justin ran down to the man, and while removing his backpack asked, What...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 22 April 2014


One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

A Joke Involving Death

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone. Well, obviously i am not going to end...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

Disabled Man On The Beach

A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him I bet youve never been hugged before. The legless man shakes his head. Then the second blonde says, I bet youve...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

Hard of Hearing Boss

A secretary goes into her boss office and asks, May I use your dictaphone? He replies, No. Use your finger like everyone else. Obviously he misheard her - he thought she said dick to phone! How hilarious that would have been if...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

Masturbating Joke

A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, Son, if you dont stop doing that, youll go blind. The boy said,Dad, Im over here. Obviously the father was a prolific masturbator. Now, before you...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

My Photograph Memory

For some reason people always seem to be amazed when I tell them that I have a photographic memory. Theres one over there on the desk. Its of me and Mom when we went to the race track together back...

submitted by Bureau, 19 April 2014

The Really Bad Day!

A Really Bad Day There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the...

submitted by Bureau, 18 April 2014

Chelsea Clinton

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton. Whats the difference between Hillary Clinton and a seal? One smells of fish and has whiskers, the other one...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 18 April 2014

Man Killed By Wife

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, Youre beautiful! and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 18 April 2014

Those Your Cattle in Texas

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, Where is everybody? The bartender replied, Theyve gone to the hanging. Hanging? Who are they hanging?...

submitted by Bureau, 17 April 2014

Bartender & Pig

A woman and a duck walk into a bar. They get over to the stools and each have a seat. Lets have some service. The bartender says, Whered you get the pig. The woman says, Thats not a pig, thats a duck. He says,...

submitted by Bureau, 17 April 2014
Showing page 5 (of 579 pages)

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