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Showing page 5 (of 579 pages)

Ye Olde High School Yearbook-Hide it, Burn It!

I used to love to get out my old high school yearbook and point out how they singled me out and that was only about 15 of us who were singled out, out of some 1500....

submitted by Bureau, 13 April 2014

Best Mookies Around

It might just be my own feelings about it but after thinking about it for awhile. You know, sort of turning it over in my head, I think that Mookies Cookie Nook didnt make it at the Mall and closed because...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Really Busy & Excited There at the End!

I dont miss Grandpa much because he always sat in the same chair and sighed, looking bored and ate all the time. I bet that if he hadnt gotten onto that airplane just at the right time and having it crash...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Missed My Piss!

In the harsh light of day, I have laid here on the bathroom floor badly injured from last nights party. Im pretty sure I had a lot to drink, came in here and pissed all over the sink and the wall until...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

We Call Him Turtle

Most of our friends think we named our friend, Bobby Joe Turtle because he was always so slow and was usually the last one to get there. But no, actually we started calling him Turtle because he made himself...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Fishnet Stockings A Must!

For Halloween, I always enjoy dressing up like a tramp. I have my dirty blond wig, my high heel shoes and my fishnet stockings in my cleanly shaved legs. Sometimes I also practice up by going out like that...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Yes, I Was Once Famous All Over the Country

You may not believe this but i was once famous and on the main television networks and in newspapers everywhere. Now Im a bum. How the mighty have fallen. See, 22 years ago I was the famous baby that someone left...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Sex Fantasy, Hmmmmm?

Apparently there are some guys who have this fantasy about having two women in bed with them at the same time. It actually happened to me and it was on our wedding night. Finally, I said, Mrs. Robinson, your daughter...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Monkey See Monkey Doo!

My friends and I were hoping that by taking daily injections of some smuggled monkey extract from the zoo, it would make us more Tarzan-like to the babes and we could get a date. Instead, we spend most of our days laughing...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Guinness

After the World Beer Festival, all the Presidents of the breweries decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please. The bartender...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 11 April 2014

Explorer

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, Once I was hunting Bengal...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 11 April 2014

Life on Mars

Scientists have discovered little green men on the planet Mars. Theyre believed to have been there for the last two hundred thousand years. Nobody is quite sure...

submitted by whatinthe world, 11 April 2014

Melted my shoes this time

Technically I guess lightning doesnt strike twice in the very same place. The second time it actually got the other testicle. Must have been Ball Lightning....

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Segway Laughing Stock

Ok! OK! yes I helped to invent the Segway and invested a lot of time and most of my money on it but I really thought it would catch on. Sure theyre laughing at...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

I'm In The DooDoo Now!

What a day. First I fell out of bed trying to answer the doorbell at three oclock in the morning. Then I fell over Sparky and stepped on Alices tail. Then came...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Almost Killed My Friends

Not a one of my old friends will talk to me, even though I sent flowers a nice card and even joke helium balloons. When I asked them if that didnt mind being pallbearers,...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Uncle George and His Strange Ways

Uncle George remembered every single one of us in his will, just as he said he would, only he did it in bawdy limericks. Thats just like him. He could never do anything in a normal way. But you just had...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Orange Penis Joke

Rob staggers into the shower. He notices that his penis is bright orange. He feels normal, but hes concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, You seem to be fine and...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 10 April 2014

Doctor joke

A doctor is attending one of his patients who has a small complaint. Here, why do you guys charge so much? asks the inquisitive patient. Well, weve got overheads to meet and, besides, you can get reimbursed through the National Health system...

submitted by whatinthe world, 10 April 2014

Justin Bieber Hilarious Joke Involving Tom Cruise And Sperm

Justin Bieber and TOm Cruise meet in an elevator. Where are you heading today? the Cruise asks. Im going down to give blood. How much do you get paid for giving blood? About $20. Wow, says the Cruise, Im going up to donate sperm, and the...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 09 April 2014

Bear Facts

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see whos best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism...

submitted by Bureau, 09 April 2014

Moleturd Au Narural

The Moleturds finally built their dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for your walk-in shower. Im afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you two au...

submitted by Bureau, 09 April 2014

Burns and Allen in the 21st Century

George: In the 21st century, there are two popes at the same time. Imagine what will happen when they put their heads together. - Gracie: Dont be silly, George. When they put their heads together, they...

submitted by Michael Balton, 08 April 2014

Details! Details! Details!

While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. Excuse me, I said, approaching a clerk. Im looking for my wife. She has white hair and is wearing...

submitted by Bureau, 08 April 2014
Showing page 5 (of 579 pages)


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