Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by Spicewood.
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Car Trouble
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly....
Florida or Moon
Two Ohio State grads, -living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one guy says to the other, Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?...
Disneyland
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were...
Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walk, they come across a sign:...
Jose and Carlos
Every day, Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has lots of cash to spend....
How to call the police ..........when they are busy
George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that hed left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George...
A voice of a voter .............
In a leading university classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age....
Oh, I understand
She said... What do you mean by coming home half drunk? He said... Its not my fault, I ran out of money....
He said to me .....
He said to me .... Why are married women heavier than single women? I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see whats in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see whats in bed and go to the...
Another Whoops
A friend of mine, Jim went to the supermarket and noticed an attractive woman waving at him. She said hello. He was rather taken aback because he could not place where he knew her from. So Jim said, Do you know me?...
The Godfather
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million dollars. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo...
I believe it!
Im not normally suspicious but the wife told me yesterday that Charles from Nationwide Autoglass...
Down on his luck
A short guy is sitting at a bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with...
Telephone Joke
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks...
The Old Mule
An old country farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old...
Another Blonde Joke
Why did the Blond get mad when she saw her Drivers License? ..Cause she could not believe she got an F in sex.;)...
Been a long time
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached...
Noise Like A Frog
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpas room ..... Grandpa, Grandpa, she says...
What Part of your Body goes to Heaven First
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning when she asked the question, When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first? Suzy raised her hand and said, I think its...
Conjoined Twin Joke
Conjoined twins walk into the R.S.L in George Town and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, Dont mind us, were joined at the hip. Im John, hes Jim. Two Boags beers please....
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