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Showing page 4 (of 578 pages)

The Two-Legged Dog and The Psychiatrist

A man could not stop acting like a dog so he decided to go and see a psychiatrist. Doctor he said, Its bad, I walk around on all fours, I chase cats, I bark at the mailman, and I pee on fire hydrants....

submitted by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2014

Old Woman Sucks A Lollipop And Is Accused of Being A Whore! Disgusting.

An old lady approaches a police station and observes three women in handcuffs waiting to go in. The old lady asks one of the women, Why are you in line? The woman looks at the other prostitutes, winks...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 16 April 2014

Old Man Driving

A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone. Harold, I just heard on the news that theres a car going the wrong way on Route 285. Please be careful! Its not just one...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 15 April 2014

The Worse Joke Ever

A man sits next to a very attractive woman on an airplane. He asks her what kind of men she is interested in. Her top three choices are American Indian men, Jewish men and Southern men. The woman asks...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 15 April 2014

Bruce Will Only Contribute, Not Do It All!

A guys car broke down. He pulled over to the side of the road.Luckly there was a farm near by.He asked the farmer if he could help. The farmer said sure just let me get my horse, Bruce. So they hooked...

submitted by Bureau, 15 April 2014

A Friendly Challenge

An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The message for the B-52 crew was, Anything you can do, I can do better....

submitted by Bureau, 15 April 2014

The New Recruit

Once there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didnt have a rifle. Thats no problem, son, said the sergeant. Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go...

submitted by Bureau, 15 April 2014

Gotta Be Her

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized...

submitted by Bureau, 15 April 2014

The Big 'O'

A young couple has been having sex since they were married, an everything seemed to be going well until the husband realized that he seemed to be having more fun that his wife. He asks her if shes enjoying...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 15 April 2014

Justin Bieber Helicopter Lesson Joke

Justin Bieber was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, Ill radio you every 1000 feet to see how youre doing. At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed him and said he was doing great. At 2000 feet,...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 14 April 2014

So I Guess We Won't Split Up For Awhile Yet!

Ive heard the word alimony all my life but never actually understood what it meant. But now that Rebecca and me may be splitting up, I went to a friend who knew a judge. He told my friend that the term...

submitted by Bureau, 14 April 2014

Burrito Blocko!

If youre like me and love bean and beef burritos but have a few gas pains and sometime run over a waiter carrying hot fajitas that drop into some other customers lap on the way to the toilet, heres some...

submitted by Bureau, 13 April 2014

How You & Hospital Could Save Money!

I think a lot of money could be saved and everything would be a lot easier is hospitals would let you rent a room at a near-by motel or hotel and you get get some friends and kegs come over and you can...

submitted by Bureau, 13 April 2014

Ye Olde High School Yearbook-Hide it, Burn It!

I used to love to get out my old high school yearbook and point out how they singled me out and that was only about 15 of us who were singled out, out of some 1500. After reviewing our old 1973 Fuddpucker...

submitted by Bureau, 13 April 2014

Best Mookies Around

It might just be my own feelings about it but after thinking about it for awhile. You know, sort of turning it over in my head, I think that Mookies Cookie Nook didnt make it at the Mall and closed because...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Really Busy & Excited There at the End!

I dont miss Grandpa much because he always sat in the same chair and sighed, looking bored and ate all the time. I bet that if he hadnt gotten onto that airplane just at the right time and having it crash...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Missed My Piss!

In the harsh light of day, I have laid here on the bathroom floor badly injured from last nights party. Im pretty sure I had a lot to drink, came in here and pissed all over the sink and the wall until...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

We Call Him Turtle

Most of our friends think we named our friend, Bobby Joe Turtle because he was always so slow and was usually the last one to get there. But no, actually we started calling him Turtle because he made himself...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Fishnet Stockings A Must!

For Halloween, I always enjoy dressing up like a tramp. I have my dirty blond wig, my high heel shoes and my fishnet stockings in my cleanly shaved legs. Sometimes I also practice up by going out like that...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Yes, I Was Once Famous All Over the Country

You may not believe this but i was once famous and on the main television networks and in newspapers everywhere. Now Im a bum. How the mighty have fallen. See, 22 years ago I was the famous baby that someone left...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Sex Fantasy, Hmmmmm?

Apparently there are some guys who have this fantasy about having two women in bed with them at the same time. It actually happened to me and it was on our wedding night. Finally, I said, Mrs. Robinson, your daughter...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Monkey See Monkey Doo!

My friends and I were hoping that by taking daily injections of some smuggled monkey extract from the zoo, it would make us more Tarzan-like to the babes and we could get a date. Instead, we spend most of our days laughing...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Guinness

After the World Beer Festival, all the Presidents of the breweries decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please. The bartender...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 11 April 2014

Explorer

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, Once I was hunting Bengal...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 11 April 2014
Showing page 4 (of 578 pages)


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