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Showing page 4 (of 577 pages)

Monkey See Monkey Doo!

My friends and I were hoping that by taking daily injections of some smuggled monkey extract from the zoo, it would make us more Tarzan-like to the babes and we could get a date....

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Guinness

After the World Beer Festival, all the Presidents of the breweries decide to go to the pub for a drink....

submitted by D P Whitehead, 11 April 2014

Explorer

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had....

submitted by D P Whitehead, 11 April 2014

Life on Mars

Scientists have discovered little green men on the planet Mars. Theyre believed to have been there for the last two hundred thousand years. Nobody is quite sure...

submitted by whatinthe world, 11 April 2014

Melted my shoes this time

Technically I guess lightning doesnt strike twice in the very same place. The second time it actually got the other testicle. Must have been Ball Lightning....

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Segway Laughing Stock

Ok! OK! yes I helped to invent the Segway and invested a lot of time and most of my money on it but I really thought it would catch on. Sure theyre laughing at...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

I'm In The DooDoo Now!

What a day. First I fell out of bed trying to answer the doorbell at three oclock in the morning. Then I fell over Sparky and stepped on Alices tail. Then came...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Almost Killed My Friends

Not a one of my old friends will talk to me, even though I sent flowers a nice card and even joke helium balloons. When I asked them if that didnt mind being pallbearers,...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Uncle George and His Strange Ways

Uncle George remembered every single one of us in his will, just as he said he would, only he did it in bawdy limericks. Thats just like him. He could never do anything in a normal way. But you just had...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Orange Penis Joke

Rob staggers into the shower. He notices that his penis is bright orange. He feels normal, but hes concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, You seem to be fine and...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 10 April 2014

Doctor joke

A doctor is attending one of his patients who has a small complaint. Here, why do you guys charge so much? asks the inquisitive patient. Well, weve got overheads to meet and, besides, you can get reimbursed through the National Health system...

submitted by whatinthe world, 10 April 2014

Justin Bieber Hilarious Joke Involving Tom Cruise And Sperm

Justin Bieber and TOm Cruise meet in an elevator. Where are you heading today? the Cruise asks. Im going down to give blood. How much do you get paid for giving blood? About $20. Wow, says the Cruise, Im going up to donate sperm, and the...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 09 April 2014

Bear Facts

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see whos best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism...

submitted by Bureau, 09 April 2014

Moleturd Au Narural

The Moleturds finally built their dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for your walk-in shower. Im afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you two au...

submitted by Bureau, 09 April 2014

Burns and Allen in the 21st Century

George: In the 21st century, there are two popes at the same time. Imagine what will happen when they put their heads together. - Gracie: Dont be silly, George. When they put their heads together, they...

submitted by Michael Balton, 08 April 2014

Details! Details! Details!

While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. Excuse me, I said, approaching a clerk. Im looking for my wife. She has white hair and is wearing...

submitted by Bureau, 08 April 2014

Beautiful View From Here

While her parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them. Her Dad wasnt...

submitted by Bureau, 08 April 2014

Justin Bieber Joke Yet Again!

A woman asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms. The pharmacist replies, Yes, would you like to buy one? The woman says, No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait to see if anyone buys one? The...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 08 April 2014

I Just Embarrassed Myself Badly!

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas release with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started...

submitted by Bureau, 07 April 2014

Oh that feels good!

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit...

submitted by Bureau, 07 April 2014

Putin's new wife

Gorgeous former Olympic rhythmic gymnast Alina Kabaeva is giving Party Wives an anatomy lecture about the importance of toning up abdominal muscles after the birth of a baby. She strips down to her sparkly leotard to...

submitted by queen mudder, 07 April 2014

Another Joke Ending In Death

A boy is born without a body, only a head. For his 21st birthday his father, takes him to a bar for a drink. The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He drinks another...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 07 April 2014

Rude Kid

Early one morning, the milkman was doing his rounds. He stopped at a house to ask for his monthly fee, only to find a small boy at the door slurping from a beer bottle, smoking a Havana cigar, and with...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 07 April 2014

Jewish Kid

A Jewish kid was sitting in the back of class rubbing his crotch, and the teacher asked, Seth what are you doing? Seth replied, Teacher, my mommy had me circumcised yesterday and it still hurts. So the...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 07 April 2014
Showing page 4 (of 577 pages)


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