Showing page 4 (of 582 pages)

A Jelly Roll Diet

A horny suburban housewife met a poor homeless man and invited him to her home for lunch. But when they got to the house she seduced him into having sex with her instead. So they went upstairs to the...

submitted by Dick Sheerer, 06 July 2015

Three Men And A Farmer

Three men were driving down a desolate country road one night and ran out of gas. They saw a farm house nearby and went there to ask for help. The farmer told them that the nearest gas station was over...

submitted by Dick Sheerer, 06 July 2015

Condom Conundrum

A guy goes in to his doctors office and says, Doc, you gotta help me. I got 14 kids and I dont want anymore. The doctor gives the guy a pack of condoms and says, Before you have sex, put these on your organ....

submitted by Dick Sheerer, 06 July 2015

The Frog and The Duck

One day a duck was flying through the sky searching for something to eat. It saw a frog hopping around on the ground and quickly swooped down and swallowed the frog. The duck took off into the air and digested...

submitted by Dick Sheerer, 06 July 2015


June 17, 2015 Republican Headquarters After Donald Trump entered the presidential race no one was surprised this morning when we received the an application from the latest entry. Its a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner....

submitted by Martin Jaeger, 17 June 2015


I phoned the wife from work this morning. Can I ask you a question? Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someones got a voodoo doll of you, and theyre stabbing it? I asked her. No I dont? she...

submitted by ExiledRoyal, 29 May 2015


A Jewish kid was sitting in the back of class rubbing his crotch, and the teacher asked, Seth what are you doing? Seth replied, Teacher, my mommy had me circumcised yesterday and it still hurts. So the...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 May 2015


Today is Election Day. Hi. This is Matt Levin. Im a Christian, a Conservative, Pro-life, and a husband and father of nine children, five of my own and four adopted. Although my wife and I have the wealth...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 20 May 2015

Panic Button

I get a new pair of keys for the car we recently bought. Of course, it has a panic button on it; and, confused, I press it instead of the unlock button and then that loud, annoying honking starts and...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 07 May 2015

No 69 on Joe Biden's list of gaffes

Vice President Biden has denied endorsing Hillary Clinton for her 2016 presidential run. The womans got terrible civil liberties issues, the Veep suggested. Including the worlds worst record on human...

submitted by queen mudder, 17 April 2015

Contemporary Quotes

When JK Rowling was asked what she most enjoyed reading, she said, My royalty statements. If at first you dont succeed, try reading the instructions. - St Manual of Ikea. Thats one small step for man,...

submitted by Mark McKirdy, 15 April 2015

Theoretician v Practician ?

The Scientists are very smart and unordinary people. But what is the difference between Theoretician and Practician ? Here is the answer ! 1. When Theoretician DO NOTHING Everyone thinks that HE IS THINKING....

submitted by Happy Data Scientist, 29 March 2015

Hot And Cold Sex

An old couple in their seventies goes to the same doctor at the same time for an annual check-up. The Doctor examines the man first and finds hes in good health and asks if he has any questions. Well, Doctor,...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 21 March 2015

Purina Priapic Formula for Older Dogs (Advertisement)

CLOSE-UP of a sleeping dog. Then cut away to a dog in his apartment, with a cute collie named Denise, and Barry Whites Cant Get Enough of Your Love, Bitch playing in the background. Cut to dog sleeping,...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 17 March 2015

Modern Parenting

Parents of today like to reminisce about the simple things - they say things like One day youre eating Happy Meals at work in order to collect...

submitted by Leo Montford, 05 March 2015

Awesome Joke

A horse walks into a bar and orders himself a vodka and tonic, the barman pours it and continues wiping glasses. Horse: Why the long face? Barman:...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 28 February 2015

A positive moonbeam for the soul -

A wise man told me he had one wish and one wish only. I dont ask for much, but I love peace and serenity. I live for it. I love it. I feed off it,...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 14 February 2015

Marvin Gaye

The Motown singer was asked about the inspiration behind his hits and named President Obamas favorite vacation hot spot of Marthas Vineyard where he relaxed by turning his attention to animal husbandry....

submitted by queen mudder, 12 February 2015

Knock Knock Joke

Knock Knock Whos there? Its the police. The police who? Listen, we havent time for this. We just came to tell you that your wife has been injured in a car accident and your presence is required at the hospital........

submitted by D P Whitehead, 10 February 2015

A Horse Walks Into A Bar.....

A horse walks into a bar and immediately panic ensues. Several customers vacate the premises, observing the potential danger the situation poses but unfortunately three drinkers are trampled to death....

submitted by D P Whitehead, 10 February 2015

Proud Democrat

Proud To Be Democrat first grade teacher in the Midwest is explaining to her class that she is a Republican and how nice it is that a new Republican president has taken office.She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Republicans and support George Bush.Everyone in class raises their hands except one little girl.Mary, says the teacher with surprise, why didnt you raise your hand?Because Im not a Republican, says Mary. Well, what are you? asks the teacher.Im...

submitted by kilo914, 01 February 2015

What's the difference between a Taliban Outpost and a Afghanistani School?

Whats the difference between a Taliban Outpost and a Afghanistani School? I dont know I just fly the drone. Youll laugh if you love black...

submitted by kilo914, 01 February 2015

Reports of God's Death Exaggerated

Friedrich Nietzsches famous remark God is dead is one of two statements by him that have survived to shore up the foundations of what they call agnosticism...The second is....I cannot believe in a God...

submitted by Auntie Matter, 28 January 2015

Lunchtime Disaster

Three construction workers who were working on a 90-story building in Manhattan ate lunch with each other every day. They all brought brown-bagged lunches. This sure is getting old. The same egg-salad...

submitted by Samuel Vargo, 21 January 2015
Showing page 4 (of 582 pages)

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