Showing jokes submitted by Bureau.

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Showing page 3 (of 194 pages)

How To Really Lose Weight

I found out the secret to those people who come on the television and announce they have lost 150 pounds on certain, certain product and you can too!...

submitted by Bureau, 05 April 2014

Bet He's Mad As A Hatter

The police say they think they have finally made an arrest in those 3 AM Slasher cases. Bet hes mad as a hatter. Good thing, too; last night I got a decent nights sleep for the first time since I slashed...

submitted by Bureau, 04 April 2014

Writer's Block Is Really Bad

One of the first thing you learn at The Spoof is try to avoid The Writers Block! Its bad enough to sit bending over an old keyboard with a bad back and numbness in your fingertips and toes, without having...

submitted by Bureau, 03 April 2014

Mom Never Raised No Fool!

My mother never raised no fool. She did as she pleased and took me over to Grandfather and Grandmother and stated, Well, here he is! and ran off with the guy who came to the door one day asking if we...

submitted by Bureau, 03 April 2014

Brain Damaged But Feel Wonderful!

I dont think there is anything wrong with having a beer or ten down at the Pub with your good friends. Of course, I realize that alcohol can destroy your brain cells. But, if we only use ten percent of...

submitted by Bureau, 03 April 2014

Runner's High is Nothing!

I took up jogging to experience the runners high everyone talks about and after about two years or so I finally felt it and it was really nice. But somehow I found it lacks the intensity, the getting...

submitted by Bureau, 03 April 2014

Seniority My Big Happy Ass!

You work 25 years at a job, every day putting in your blood, sweat, and tears till eventually you become a real master of your trade. Then some snot-nosed punk gets hired and he s got people laughing...

submitted by Bureau, 03 April 2014

Speak The Language

Every single night at the Pub the guys get all excited about foreigners coming in and taking away their jobs and they cant even speak English. One of these days I may just have to speak up but Im just...

submitted by Bureau, 02 April 2014

Bathroom Confusion

Since we were in a new restaurant, I went to the bathroom to also check it out and was relieved to see one of those Attention Employees: Be Sure To Wash Your Hands Before Going Back On The Floor! and,...

submitted by Bureau, 02 April 2014

Leaf, Twig in Soup!

Waiter! Come look at this soup you have served. It has a leaf in it or part of one. Sorry Sir. Look there is even a twig! a leaf and a twig is in this bowl of soup. Again, I apologize for the leaf and...

submitted by Bureau, 01 April 2014

Sex To Jimi Hendrix

I knew our Summer of Love past would eventually catch up with us. And from 1969 to 1999 we were just fine. But nowadays, my wife and I can only have sex while in the mud and listening to Jimi Hendrix...

submitted by Bureau, 31 March 2014

Miley Just Softens Me Up!

You never know about your own kids. Like when Miley comes home from school and begins with all that flattery, I know she wants something and shes just trying to soften me up. But you know your grandchildren...

submitted by Bureau, 31 March 2014

Remembering Larry

Seeing her friend Sally wearing a brand new locket, Murdy asks if there was a memento or photo of some sort inside it. Yes, says Sally, Yes I keep a lock of my husbands hair. But Sally, your Larrys still alive,...

submitted by Bureau, 31 March 2014

What's With My Psychiatrist?

I wonder why psychiatrists sessions last 50 minutes instead of a full hour? I think thats cheating. Maybe they just sit there and chuckle at what we tell them and it takes ten minutes to place their serious face back...

submitted by Bureau, 30 March 2014

Bullied at School

I was always the kid that got picked on at school. Just because I was small for my size, had red hair and zits. Also, youd think that I would be the nerd who knew everything. But I was even dumb as a...

submitted by Bureau, 30 March 2014

I Dread Telling The Family

I dread having to tell the family. I mean it was all just an off-the-cuff remark and I thought she knew better than that. But I should have never shot my mouth off. Whos that bear there with the little...

submitted by Bureau, 28 March 2014

Sexy Lady Clown

Everybody loves a clown and Im no different...especially if shes a lady clown that likes to play clown games in the nude...and handcuffed to the headboard...and were playing Honker Down...and its her...

submitted by Bureau, 28 March 2014

I may be sober tomorrow but cop will be stupid all his life!

I had just left Ye Olde Rotgut Tavern on Highway 221 when I look into the rear mirror and here comes the police with his lights flashing and he began motioning me to pull over so I did. Hit a mailbox....

submitted by Bureau, 28 March 2014

There Was Nothing I Could Do For Him

I tried my best to comfort my new neighbors by telling them, What if we all lived in a parallel universe like that String Theory or whatever, and your sweet little Fluffy were 10 to 20 feet tall and ate...

submitted by Bureau, 28 March 2014

How They Got Pregnant

I dont know about you but I think its silly for a beer company or any alcohol company to have to put all those warnings about drinking and being pregnant. I mean, shes already had more than her share before...

submitted by Bureau, 27 March 2014

Making Love One Was Only One I Feel Guilty Over.

Men will do nothing until you turn it into a sport of some kind. For instance, I got Moley Jr. and his dad into Who can shove snow faster. Then there was the one on how long it takes to vacuum the whole house....

submitted by Bureau, 27 March 2014

Your Wedding Night Can Be Rough

I married when I was sixteen years old. Thats too young. Especially its too young when youre not all that hip about sex as a married woman. Some things I just didnt know. I married Moleturd when he was 39 and here...

submitted by Bureau, 27 March 2014

He's assumed room temperature!

Why do police, doctors, coroners say that? Looks like hes assumed room temperature alright. It doesnt make sense. Room temperature changes with whatever the thermometer says it is. Lets say its 90 degrees. Someone...

submitted by Bureau, 27 March 2014

Sex different for Women

Sex is different for a woman than a man. You guys are really wanting to cut to the chase. But we women like to have a good warm-up session. Like I told Moleturd the other night. Nothing happens until at least 15 minutes...

submitted by Bureau, 27 March 2014
Showing page 3 (of 194 pages)

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