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Memo from the Pastoral Search Committee

In our search for a suitable pastor, the following scratch sheet was developed for your perusal. Of the candidates investigated by the committee, only one was found to have the necessary qualities. The...

submitted by IN SEINE, 28 October 2012

The Dead Wife

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good nights sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, Dont touch me. Why not, he asks. She answers back, Because Im dead....

submitted by IN SEINE, 27 October 2012

The Wonderdog

A man goes into a movie theater with his dog to watch a film. Its a romantic comedy and when theres a funny seen the dog starts laughing. A little later on theres a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying....

submitted by IN SEINE, 26 October 2012

Oxen

Once upon a time there were four musk oxen who became the best of friends. They did everything together. When it came time for them to get new harnesses, they all went to the tack shop together to be...

submitted by IN SEINE, 25 October 2012

An Abduction

I was just walking down the street one day when I was clubbed over the head, shoved into a VW Microbus by several illegal Mexicans, and finally dumped in the streets in Tijuana. When I finally made...

submitted by IN SEINE, 24 October 2012

"Where Do You Want to Go?"

Little Johnny was four years old and gave his relatives quite a scare when he disappeared during their lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline. Everyone was relieved...

submitted by IN SEINE, 23 October 2012

Tim of Peas

Lee trundles This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,What did you steal? She replied, A can of peaches. The judge then asked her why...

submitted by IN SEINE, 22 October 2012

Right Bear

A pair of Siamese-twin bears walk in to a gun shop. The bear on the left says, The woods are getting too dangerous these days, Id like to buy a gun I cant let you buy a gun, says the shop keeper, but Id be happy...

submitted by IN SEINE, 21 October 2012

Teacher to Teacher

A woman attended her twentieth high school reunion, where she encountered her freshman year Art teacher. She told him that she had decided to go to college as a result of his inspiration and that she...

submitted by IN SEINE, 20 October 2012

The CIA…Duh!!!

Two C. I.A. agents were asked to come and inspect some ancient bones that were found outside Baghdad. After about three hours with the bones, they came out of the inspection room and announced: We can...

submitted by IN SEINE, 18 October 2012

Tim of Peas

Lee trundles This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,What did you steal? She replied, A can of peaches. The judge then asked...

submitted by IN SEINE, 17 October 2012

The Perfume

The young man really liked the perfume the young lady was wearing and asked its name. She looked puzzled for a minute then looked through her purse, finally dumping the contents on the table between them....

submitted by IN SEINE, 17 October 2012

How to Get a Hairdryer through Customs

Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, Father, may I ask a favor? Of course child. What may I do for you? Well,...

submitted by IN SEINE, 16 October 2012

Performance Enhancing Drugs

A man fell asleep on the beach and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his thighs. He went to the hospital and was admitted with second-degree burns. Because his skin was starting to blister and he...

submitted by IN SEINE, 15 October 2012

Johnny Catches the Bus

Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver he is 4 years old when asked because he will ride for free. As they get into the bus the driver asks Johnny how old he was. Little...

submitted by IN SEINE, 14 October 2012

"But Officer…"

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. But officer. the man began, I can explain. Just be quiet, snapped the officer. Im going to let you cool your heels in...

submitted by IN SEINE, 14 October 2012

What Is Normal?

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that...

submitted by IN SEINE, 13 October 2012

My Daily Exercise Routine

During my recent physical examination, the doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day this way: Well, yesterday afternoon,...

submitted by IN SEINE, 12 October 2012

Pawn Star

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate,...

submitted by IN SEINE, 11 October 2012

M Is for?

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she...

submitted by IN SEINE, 10 October 2012

The Jewels

Chatting with my mother-in-law, I asked, Have you heard of this company that takes the cremated ashes of your loved one and then compresses the carbon into a diamond? Yes, she said, smirking. I have had...

submitted by IN SEINE, 10 October 2012

Irritation, Aggravation and Frustration…

Jamie asked his dad to explain the difference between irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. When the phone was answered, he asked, Can...

submitted by IN SEINE, 09 October 2012

My Grandad

Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too....

submitted by IN SEINE, 09 October 2012

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

The television game show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, was being recorded. The contestant was in the hot seat for the last big question. The host turned to him, and read the question slowly and carefully....

submitted by IN SEINE, 08 October 2012
Showing page 3 (of 90 pages)


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