Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by anthonyrosania.
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You're not my real dad!
I dont want my cat to get sick, but when I deny him human food, he yells Youre not my real dad!. It breaks my heart every single time....
Mike Shanahan Is A Bigoted Piece Of Sh-t. Merry Christmas!
Fact #1; The Washington Post is reporting today that Head Coach Mike Shanahan has decided that Rex Grossman will replace Donovan McNabb as the Redskins starting quarterback for Sundays game against the...
...celebrating lottery win...
When you work at home and have three kids under 5, dinner out with friends sounds as wonderful to me now as celebrating lottery win with blowjob would in 2004. And now I have to find twenty more words...
Redux Demanded For 'There's Something About Mary': "Brett Favre was..."
Directors Bobby and Peter Farrelly, who directed the smash hit Theres Something About Mary, are demanding that 20th Century Fox temporarily remove the 1998 movie from store shelves, Netflix queues and...
I Googled my flu-like symptoms...
I Googled my flu-like symptoms, and I found...
Quentin Tarantino rips off so many filmmakers...
Quentin Tarantino rips off so many filmmakers, when I...
What would copper do for a living?
Did you ever wonder what would happen if aqueous hydroxylamine...
Famous Last Tweets: Dr. Frank Ryan.
Famous Last Tweet: Dr. Frank Ryan. Heading down PCH with my dog...
...realization that your belief in the mathematical descriptions of opacity...
Did you ever have a dream in which you are driving in a 1980 Chevrolet Citation X11 through Alberta, Canada, listening to CIXF-FM while the wind rushes through a broken passenger-side window, when all...
"Stalking" has such a negative connotation...
Stalking has such a negative connotation. In the future, Ill refer...
I suspected my wife was anorexic, so I left a slice of...
I suspected my wife was anorexic, so I left a slice of cake...
I dreamed I was tortured by men ...
I dreamed I was tortured by men with Afros psychedelic bell bottoms....
I can spot a person that would tie you to ...
I have a sixth sense about people. I can spot a person that would tie you to...
...bruised my wrists with tethers...
Im wearing a long-sleeved sweater, not because its chilly, but because...
Adult classes start Monday
Please register for the five-part series: Stalking - How To Maintain...
I hit my dog in the face with a shovel.
I hit my dog in the face with a shovel. The pool of blood and teeth on the floor looked exactly like a portrait of Gosamaru, the Ryukyuan lord of the gusuku of Zakimi, and then like more like Andrew...
Here, I thought I planned the perfect evening. Romantic dinner. Soft music. I can't believe I didn't buy enough rope.
Here, I thought I planned the perfect evening. Romantic dinner....
First, I'll set ALL microwaves to :11. As office workers are consumed by fury...
First, Ill set ALL microwaves to :11. As office workers are consumed...
I am very vocal in bed. Luckily...
I am very vocal in bed. Luckily, my girlfriend shares the name of my woman I most passionately...
4 out of 5 purple platypusses don't recommend anything laced with PCP...
4 out of 5 purple platypusses dont recommend anything laced with PCP,...
my hair is soft and fluffy...like a squirrel. also delicious...
my hair is soft and fluffy...like a squirrel. also...
I'm thankful for the visionary that grew hydro weed, Latin weed & Bobby Brown weed...
Im thankful for the visionary that grew hydro weed, Latin weed Bobby...
Yesterday, I had a "Tina Yothers" kind of day...
Yesterday, I had a Tina Yothers kind of day. Today Im having a Marlo Thomas That Girl! kind of day...tomorrow looks...
11PM TEASER: The Tea Party has fixed the vote for Sarah Palin's daughter on Dancing With the Stars, but can a Tea Party candidate actually be elected?
11PM TEASER (10SEC): The Tea Party has fixed the vote for Sarah Palins daughter on Dancing With the Stars, but can a...
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