Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by Spicewood.
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Dah.................
Sam asked his friend Bill, Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?...
A Grandson's Coffee
A Grandmother was surprised by her 7-year-old grandson one morning when he made her a cup of coffee. Even though it was the worst cup of coffee in her life, she drank it. When she got to the bottom there...
Down On The Farm
Cletus is passing by Jimboys hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees George doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere. Buttocks clenched, Jimboy performs...
Good way to get there..........
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpas room... Grandpa, Grandpa, she...
Whooops again
While acquainting himself with a new elderly patient, the Doctor asked, How long have you been bedridden? After a look of complete confusion she answered . . . Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband...
A true joke
During a patients two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.. Which one ?. .. . the Doctor asked. The patch... The Nurse...
Horse sense
Little Jimmy attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Jimmy asked, Dad, why...
Out of the mouths of babes ....
Jimmys kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it...
What's in a number
The math teacher saw that Jimmy wasnt paying attention in class. She called on him and said, Jimmy! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44? Jimmy quickly replied, NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!...
Little Tommy
Tommy watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. Why do you do that, mommy? he asked. To make myself beautiful, said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. Whats the matter,...
Little Jimmy
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, stand up! After a few seconds, Little Jimmy stood up. The teacher said, Do you think youre...
The first exam
A woman and a baby were in the doctors examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the babys first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby...
Aussie pick-up line .........
A Aussie walks into a Pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, is your date running late? No, he replies,...
From Bad to Worse
A blonde went to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, Whats the matter? The blonde replies, Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away. The boss, feeling sorry for...
Logical response
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, Why, thats a thermos..... it keeps hot things...
Car repair .... the blonde way
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde,...
Makes sense to me
Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Lynn was nailing down house siding, she would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder...
A Blonde getting Even
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbors dog. It has been in the neighbors backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, Ive had enough...
Another cute blonde joke..
A tall blonde walks up to the desk at the library, and loudly announces, I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER A HAMBURGER FRIES AND A COKE. The librarian tells her, This is a library. She slowly looks to the left, then to the...
Another day with the highway patrol
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights...
The Doctors Office
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctors office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. Impossible! says the doctor.. Show me. The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,...
River Walk
The other evening I was out walking the old bike path that runs along the Licking River. I saw a poltician friend of mine on the other side. I shouted out to him, How can I get to the other side? He looked up the river, then...
Speeding Ticket
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today...
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