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Showing jokes submitted by queen mudder.


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Feng Shui

The final straw in Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchis 10-year marriage came when the TV cook hired a psychic feng shui therapist to dowse the root of her matrimonial problems....

submitted by queen mudder, 08 August 2013

Jimmy Savile the fundraiser

Out-takes from a documentary about the entertainers life are shedding new light on his charitable agenda....

submitted by queen mudder, 04 August 2013

Rupert Murdoch's divorce

A Manhattan divorce judge has torn up the prenup signed by Murdochs third wife Wendi Deng after agreeing with her lawyers that it was the meanest, most tight-fisted penny-pinching marriage contract hed...

submitted by queen mudder, 02 August 2013

Bernie Ecclestone's divorce

The five foot tall F1 businessman was always a bit worried about getting married to wife No 2, a 6ft 2ins Croatian fashion model called Slavica. Sure I was nervous, Ecclestone admitted, it was the wedding...

submitted by queen mudder, 30 July 2013

Emotional baggage

A barman has pleaded with the cocktail bar manager about being sacked after arriving over three hours late for the evening shift. Sorry, boss, Hungarian national Fabian Gabor said to his employer, but I had...

submitted by queen mudder, 29 July 2013

Mrs Putin spills the beans

The loyal, long-suffering, ex-wife of Russias President Vlad The Impaler Putin has finally snapped and given reporters a brief glimpse into the divorce that ended the couples 30-year marriage. The last straw...

submitted by queen mudder, 28 July 2013

Till Death Us Do Part Russian-Style

Russian police have interviewed a Moscow man about the mysterious death of his wife of 30 years after finding her mummified corpse in the couples apartment. I tell you I am completely innocent, Dmitry Hackov...

submitted by queen mudder, 27 July 2013

Jimmy Savile the philanthropisst

The wily old rascal was interviewed about one of his pet charities which provides IVF treatments for the infertile. Jim, is it true that youre conducting research into cross-species fertilization? a young reporter...

submitted by queen mudder, 21 July 2013

God and periods

When God made the first man and woman he made sure his First Couple understood about where babies come from. Adam, He said, youll need to leave the Missus to her own devices for five days every month. Adam readily...

submitted by queen mudder, 14 July 2013

Jimmy Savile social climber

The old rogue once told reporters how after years of being blackballed by the Establishment he was eventually accepted at a top knobs Members Only club. Apparently membership of Mayfairs exclusive Fistings nighterie...

submitted by queen mudder, 13 July 2013

Da Vinci Code the Musical

On the Da Vinci Codes 100th anniversary the Pearly Gates Operatic Society in Heaven is staging a musical based on Dan Browns famous book. God the Father is said to be fine with the idea but St Peter thinks the shows...

submitted by queen mudder, 09 July 2013

Bill Clinton's vegan diet

Bill Clinton goes to see his doctor complaining of a huge pain in the ass. The physician pokes him with various instruments before deciding to send the ex-Prez for a MRI scan. Half an hour later the results come back...

submitted by queen mudder, 09 July 2013

Prince Harry

The ginger fire-cracker has been invited to a fancy dress party at the Kremlin but hasnt got a clue what to wear. Eventually he decides to fly the flag for Britain and turns up wearing only a pair of David Beckham Y-Fronts....

submitted by queen mudder, 08 July 2013

Jimmy Savile lads' night in

Its Saturday night and the octogenarian entertainer is ringing round his old muckers to see if anyone wants to catch a few beers and watch a vid. Gary Glitter picks up the phone but sounds a bit bored by whats on offer. Oh...

submitted by queen mudder, 06 July 2013

Secrets of Vladimir Putin's 30 year marriage

The Russian president took his own mothers advice about matrimonial bliss when first looking for a wife 30 years ago. Mother said its important to find a woman whos good at cooking as well as cleaning,Putin explained. Next,...

submitted by queen mudder, 05 July 2013

Royal Couch Potatoes

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall goes to see the doctor complaining about a funny taste in the mouth from having sex with Prince Charles. Doctor, each time I give him a blow job lumps of semen like mashed potatoes come shooting out...

submitted by queen mudder, 04 July 2013

Joe Biden spills yet more beans...

The Vice President has been acting as White House tour guide to some Chinese exchange students studying US Politics and History of the US Democratic Party. As a special treat the White House Presidential Portrait Gallery has been...

submitted by queen mudder, 02 July 2013

Maria Sharapova

Russian Grand Slam champ Maria Sharapova has become Patron of the International Society for the Blind, a charity that promotes fun, games and sports for the visually impaired. Tonight at an official fundraiser the lissom blonde tennis...

submitted by queen mudder, 01 July 2013

Bee Gees

An excited Prince Charles phones the Queen and says hes finally got proof that plants talk back if you teach them properly. Why, only last week I was in the Palace Herb Garden, Maam, singing some favorite old Bee Gees numbers and now, guess...

submitted by queen mudder, 30 June 2013

Goldie Hawn

An anonymous young Hollywood actor tweeting under the name Woodsman says hes crazy about First Wives Club/Private Benjamin star Goldie Hawn. Sure, Id do anything to date Little Red Riding Hoods Grandma!, his latest tweet says. Apparently the...

submitted by queen mudder, 29 June 2013

Bar snacks

Barman, this two dollar pack of nuts smells of urine. Sorry, Bud, thats pee nuts for you. Want something cheaper, less smelly? Sure, whatve you got? Well, these right here are deer nuts, shouldnt smell that bad either. Deer nuts? Hmm, whats...

submitted by queen mudder, 28 June 2013

Paul McCartney

The Beatles son James said this week hes still mad at his Pa for the lavish divorce settlement he gave step-Mom Heather Mills. Dad, those huge Christmas presents just gotta stop, the 35 year-old told Paul during a recent tete-a-tete. Son, that two-foot...

submitted by queen mudder, 23 June 2013

Holy contraception

Nuns at Romes Convent of the Immaculate Conception have won the Popes prestigious morality prize for the 100th year in a row. They beat hundreds of other church groups after yet another successful year when not one single nun got pregnant, had an abortion...

submitted by queen mudder, 22 June 2013

Michael Jackson rhinoplasty

The singer came round early from a nose job op convinced surgeons were using tacky embroidery blanket stitches around his new nostrils. Doc I just cant let you do this to me, a still groggy Jackson cried grabbing the needle and thread from the medics hand....

submitted by queen mudder, 21 June 2013
Showing page 3 (of 8 pages)


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