Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by birbee.
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Top Camping Tip...
Top tip: If youre camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because its so hot she will be...
Apple a Day???
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, Ive found that...
Dinner Time.............
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wifes voice from the kitchen What would you like for dinner my Love?......
Genie......
A man finds a lamp, rubs it, and a genie appears. The genie tells the man he may have two wishes, but whatever he gets his mother-in-law will...
Sweet Tea.........
Doctor, I dont know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp. Doctor: I have a real good medicine for that When...
Condoms...
A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, What are these Dad? To which...
Breaking News
Police in South Bristol just announced the discovery of an arms cache of 2000 semi automatic rifles with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 20 tonnes of heroin,...
Great White Sharks
Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean spied a ship in distress. Follow me, son, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the ship. First we swim around them a few times with just...
Camping and Fishing
Four blokes spend weeks planning the perfect camping and fishing trip to a remote and disconnected spot Two days before they are due to leave, Daves wife puts her foot down and tells him hes not going...
Public Sex Act
A man had a wank in a newsagents today. It was all over the papers..........
Come On Farmer............
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his manhood into the equipment, turned on...
Vow of Silence......
Sister Katherine Mary entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, Sister, this is a silent Monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so....
A Dwarf and A Horse......
A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm. Id like to buy a horth, he says to the owner of the farm. What sort of horse? said the owner. A female horth the dwarf replies. So the owner shows him a mare....
Squid.....
A man walks into a restaurant and orders squid. Certainly Sir, says Gervaise the waiter, Would you like to choose your squid from the tank over there? Ill have that little green one with the moustache says...
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