Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by Exislanda.
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Golf panties
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were all playing golf with their wives....
Sex Insurance
Make sure you get the Correct Insurance for the sex you are having....
Do you like?
Goldie was sitting on a beach in Florida, attempting to strike up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers....
Out of a Coma.
A woman was in a deep coma and had been for months. One day the nurses were in her room and giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on...
Missing.
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them hes 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next...
Freezing.
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, Honey, my hands are freezing! She says, Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up. After lunch he goes back out...
Chokes!
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small southern town out in the country. She orders the fried chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she chokes on a chicken bone. Well, these two good-ol country boys in the next booth notice she is choking, and they get up and go over to help her. The...
Fly me
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot...
Magic Apples
A young man waiting for the bus ran into an old man who was carrying a rather heavy bag. Bored and curious, he chatted w/ him a bit then asked casually, Whats in the bag? Magic apples! the old fellow replied. Prove it! said the young man. Well, besides apples, what are your favorite two fruits?...
RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN
A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed a man in her life so she placed an ad, which read something like this: RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE ...NEEDS TO HAVE THESE QUALIFICATIONS: 1) WONT BEAT ME UP 2) WONT RUN AWAY 3) HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED For several months, her...
DUI
A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Beckley, WV, to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didnt want to...
Bank on it!
Some Irish criminals decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning, they agree on the best plan. The next day, they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy. Once inside the...
Some shorts
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words The and IRS together, it spells THEIRS? Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? Why do they put pictures of criminals...
Carry in for Cleo
You slave, come here quick, said Queen Cleopatra, Quickly fill my bath with asss milk, Ceasar is coming to see me and I want to surprise him. How full would you like me to fill it, your Majesty? replied the...
Global Facts
At Any Moment: 79,000,000 people are engaged in intercourse. 58,000,000 are kissing. 37,000,000 are relaxing after sex. 1 lonely bugger is reading The Spoof. You hang on in there sunshine!...
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