Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by IainB.
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My new password
Ever since they introduced this new password rule at work, its taking me ages to type it in. My new password is MickyMinnieDonaldHueyDueyLouiePlutoGoofyLondon...
Ineffective Suicide
Frank, 70, outlived his wife of 52 years. She had done everything for him, cooked, cleaned and supported him for all that time. Her death hit him very hard, and...
Migraine relief
A man goes to see his local doctor complaining that each morning he wakes with a severe migraine. Do you see flashing lights? asked the doctor. I do, replied the...
Doctor, I orgasm whenever I sneeze
A young woman went to see her doctor. Doctor, whenever I sneeze, I have a massive orgasm! The doctor wrote some notes and said: Thats quite a unique malady. Im not...
I'm not the father
I recently discovered that my eldest son is not my biological child. I should have realised as I am...
Stopping traffic
My girlfriend has a face that will stop traffic. Its bright red....
Student Teacher
A student teacher was given a class completely comprised of blondes and thought he was in for a tough time....
Porn channel
A vicar walks into the hotel where his conference is being held and checks in. After checking in he adds:...
Shut it! Or Else.
A man was doing eighty on the motorway when the police pulled him over. Are you aware you were doing eighty?...
Salford Advent Calendar
I bought an advent calendar from a shop in Salford. I wish...
Where's the bar
Two men book into a hotel, before going up to their room they...
Turning the lights on
I bought some of those lights that turn on and off when you clap - but because...
Book title
Richard Branson walked into Waterstones looking for a book. After looking for some...
Yet another face lift gag
My friend has had so many face lifts, when her...
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