Showing jokes submitted by Bureau.

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Showing page 2 (of 194 pages)

Best Mookies Around

It might just be my own feelings about it but after thinking about it for awhile. You know, sort of turning it over in my head, I think that Mookies Cookie Nook didnt make it at the Mall and closed because...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Really Busy & Excited There at the End!

I dont miss Grandpa much because he always sat in the same chair and sighed, looking bored and ate all the time. I bet that if he hadnt gotten onto that airplane just at the right time and having it crash...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Missed My Piss!

In the harsh light of day, I have laid here on the bathroom floor badly injured from last nights party. Im pretty sure I had a lot to drink, came in here and pissed all over the sink and the wall until...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

We Call Him Turtle

Most of our friends think we named our friend, Bobby Joe Turtle because he was always so slow and was usually the last one to get there. But no, actually we started calling him Turtle because he made himself...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Fishnet Stockings A Must!

For Halloween, I always enjoy dressing up like a tramp. I have my dirty blond wig, my high heel shoes and my fishnet stockings in my cleanly shaved legs. Sometimes I also practice up by going out like that...

submitted by Bureau, 12 April 2014

Yes, I Was Once Famous All Over the Country

You may not believe this but i was once famous and on the main television networks and in newspapers everywhere. Now Im a bum. How the mighty have fallen. See, 22 years ago I was the famous baby that someone left...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Sex Fantasy, Hmmmmm?

Apparently there are some guys who have this fantasy about having two women in bed with them at the same time. It actually happened to me and it was on our wedding night. Finally, I said, Mrs. Robinson, your daughter...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Monkey See Monkey Doo!

My friends and I were hoping that by taking daily injections of some smuggled monkey extract from the zoo, it would make us more Tarzan-like to the babes and we could get a date. Instead, we spend most of our days laughing...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Melted my shoes this time

Technically I guess lightning doesnt strike twice in the very same place. The second time it actually got the other testicle. Must have been Ball Lightning. Well, I wont have to use those stupid condoms any more and Ive...

submitted by Bureau, 11 April 2014

Segway Laughing Stock

Ok! OK! yes I helped to invent the Segway and invested a lot of time and most of my money on it but I really thought it would catch on. Sure theyre laughing at me now, holding their sides and slapping their knees, rolling on...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

I'm In The DooDoo Now!

What a day. First I fell out of bed trying to answer the doorbell at three oclock in the morning. Then I fell over Sparky and stepped on Alices tail. Then came something even worse. You know youre in trouble when not only the...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Almost Killed My Friends

Not a one of my old friends will talk to me, even though I sent flowers a nice card and even joke helium balloons. When I asked them if that didnt mind being pallbearers, they all agreed. I didnt draft them or anything. They came...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Uncle George and His Strange Ways

Uncle George remembered every single one of us in his will, just as he said he would, only he did it in bawdy limericks. Thats just like him. He could never do anything in a normal way. But you just had...

submitted by Bureau, 10 April 2014

Bear Facts

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see whos best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the...

submitted by Bureau, 09 April 2014

Moleturd Au Narural

The Moleturds finally built their dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for your walk-in shower. Im afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you two au...

submitted by Bureau, 09 April 2014

Details! Details! Details!

While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. Excuse me, I said, approaching a clerk. Im looking for my wife. She has white hair and is wearing...

submitted by Bureau, 08 April 2014

Beautiful View From Here

While her parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them. Her Dad wasnt...

submitted by Bureau, 08 April 2014

I Just Embarrassed Myself Badly!

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas release with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I...

submitted by Bureau, 07 April 2014

Oh that feels good!

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball...

submitted by Bureau, 07 April 2014

Super Sex!!

An old woman in a nursing facility daily lifted her dress and shouted supersex, supersex! every time she came upon an older gentleman. Finally she did this again in front of the old man who hesitated...

submitted by Bureau, 06 April 2014

Moleturd Having A Baby

Miley Moleturd goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, Well, Im a little worried about the pain. How...

submitted by Bureau, 06 April 2014

Hit By A Bus His Least Worry

Patient: Im in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: Youve had an accident involving a bus. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, Ive got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear...

submitted by Bureau, 06 April 2014

Got Levitra Too!

Jacob, age 92, and Margery, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob...

submitted by Bureau, 06 April 2014

Just Need A Few Purple Pills After A While.

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, How many women can a man marry? Sixteen, the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly....

submitted by Bureau, 06 April 2014
Showing page 2 (of 194 pages)

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