Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by j.w..
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Getting to the Heart of it
A surgeon brought his car into a garage for repair. The mechanic complained that he mended cars, went to the heart of the problem and carried out all the repairs required....
Crackers for Drinkers
What drink always goes down at an angle?...
Ready for Christmas
For a celebration I tried cooking a special meal with wine for my wife tonight....
Broom Broom
Two brooms who had been in the same cupboard for a time decided to get married....
Farm Visit
I took my grandchildren to my cousins farm in the West Country....
Harry's Bum
In Afghanistan Harrys bum has become a must see experience for the American troops located there....
Comfortable
A farmer in the 1950s set out for market telling his wife he would get in contact if he needed any help....
Bloody Weather
I was sitting down to read my newspaper and , can you believe it, the sun comes out. It shone on my page and I couldnt read a thing!...
Just in Case
Joe and his wife Charlene were on holiday in Israel. Unfortunately she fell over in Bethlehem and fractured her skull, dying shortly afterwards....
Parliamentary Report
David Cameron shambled in, putting his foot into the mess he had already prepared....
What I learnt at school
Biology lesson: Crabs and shrimps are crushed asians....
Drought Solutions
A team of young lads has put forward a series of measures to deal with the water shortage in most of England caused by the Drought:...
Didn't you notice
Wife - Havent you noticed something about the room?...
Pun in the Eye
The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table is Sir Cumference who acquired his size from too much pi. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France...
What will the neighbors say?
Distressed elderly woman: Officer that is my husband in the road. PC Oh dear and so near the neighbours can see. Just look at his dirty pants! Dont worry my dear, that is oil from the car. But his hair is...
Learnt on my Mother's Knee
Silence in Court! The Pig wants to snort. Whats for pudding? Wait see pudding Whats that? Youll have to wait and see Do what youre told Or one day youll be old Dont pick your nose Its the chosen one....
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