Jokes
Showing jokes submitted by anthonyrosania.
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#StateFarmWasntThere Part 4.
State Farm Wasnt There... For The Pro Bowl...neither was the AFC...
#StateFarmWasntThere Part 3.
State Farm Wasnt There... when I spilled nail poilsh remover on my phone....
#StateFarmWasntThere Part 2.
State Farm Wasnt There... when my dress flew up outside I was assed out....
#StateFarmWasntThere Part 1.
State Farm Wasnt There... when Rihanna was screaming S.O.S in the passenger seat of that Lambo. Now she doesnt even know her name....
The Fifteen Best Pickup Lines Ever.
15. Can I borrow your library card? Why? Because Im checking you out....
Lindsay Lohan wants to know why America hates her so much but still Loves Charlie Sheen.
Lindsay Lohan wants to know why America hates her so much but still Loves Charlie Sheen....
I heard she stole a young American boy's soul through the internet.
Jokes that defame my religion really upset me. So, trust that I will not be starring ANYTHING with a negative reference to Oprah....
... drinking the most exotic squirrel semen.
My ex-wife (who cheated married the god-damned a--hole motherf--king retard jerkoff wanker son of a b-tch) just called to tell shes divorcing. I hate myself for being so turned on right now....
...keep searching for the vagina of my dreams?
Im torn between two loves. Should I keep my GF? Reconcile with my ex? Or forget them both and keep searching for the vagina of my dreams?...
His dream had nothing to do with cookies, but all mine do.
I took off today, but, as management, Ive used the time to devise many illogical, redundant, and unnecessary tasks for my team to complete....
I can always exploit my penis.
Playing the race card is lame. I have intelligence and a masters degree. If that doesnt get me what I want, I can always exploit my penis....
A man will stick his...
Me: Ive never been that drunk before. I passed out and drooled all over myself! Did you put something in those margaritas?!?...
Twitter = OMG, need to pee. BRB
Twitter = OMG, need to pee. BRB...
Camden, NJ Fires Half Of Police Force, And... Wait, What? Holy F--k! RUN!! Honey, Put The Kids In The Car And Drive To Your Mothers. Don't Stop, Don't Even Slow Down. Just Go!!!!
Camden has decided to change its name to UrineSmell CheapHookers Murdertown, NJ....
My Testicle-region Sparkles
My ex-wife (who cheated married the asshole) just called to tell me shes divorcing. I hate myself for being so turned on right now....
Ben Rothlisberger calls 911 in a panic...
Ben Rothlisberger calls 911 in a panic. He exclaims, I think that this girl has been raped! Arrest that man!!...
You Win This Time, Penis...
You Win This Time, Penis. But one of these days, Ill find you. Im going to get you. No matter where you go, no matter what you do,...
Brett Favre Sends Photo Of Old, Wrinkled Member That Stopped Working A Long Time Ago. Also, A Photo Of His Penis.
Brett Favre Sends Photo Of Old, Wrinkled Member That Stopped Working A Long Time Ago. Also, A Photo Of His Penis. Brett Favre has...
Happy New Year, everyone. And what Dick Clark said this year rings especially true: "Mmmm mffmfhh, mfhhhh, nwwwww, mmmmmphhhhh, mmmm."
Happy New Year, everyone. And what Dick Clark said this year rings especially true: Mmmm mffmfhh, mfhhhh, nwwwww, mmmmmphhhhh, mmmm....
...f--k off Brett Ratner...
ME ON TWITTER: X3 ruined Wolverine for me. Anytime you take a character known for his grumpy dont-give-a-sh-t attitude and you make him...
Pop Tarts are like Breakfast Pie.
ME: Pop Tarts are like Breakfast Pie. YOU: Breakfast Pie is what I call morning sex. ME: But you dont get to call it very often. YOU:!...
...(Yelling) MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS AND LITTLE DEBBIES...
I F--KING LOVE MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS AND LITTLE DEBBIES FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. IM WEARING TOO MUCH HAIR GEL AND WHEN I READJUST MY GLASSES MY HANDS...
...unsolicited photos of your boobs.
I love a rainy Friday night filled with hot, nasty, orgiastic, lustful, passionate lovemaking, but my hand is tired. Im going the f--k to bed. BONUS JOKE...
My first marriage failed because...
My first marriage failed because no matter how often I told her to step up and be her own person, she would not do as I say! BONUS JOKE! Ran into a colleague...
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