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2 Too Many

Little Johnny was in Math class and it was his turn to answer a math problem....

submitted by Al N., 26 December 2016

Trump Treatises

Why does Trump know the geography of tropical islands so well?...

submitted by Al N., 25 December 2016

Narcis-stick

This Seasons Big Seller: A selfie stick called the Narcis-stick. Comes with Snapchat, or whatever the hell the newest app is that allows us to validate our existence by sharing every brief and banal...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 21 December 2016

Funny Jokes for Adults

Sign on a brothel: Were closed! Beat it! Why did they arrest the guitar teacher? He was caught fingering a minor. Why is Santas sack so big? He only comes once a year! Why does Dr. Pepper come in a...

submitted by Al N., 20 December 2016

Two Men Meet In a Bar

Two men meet in a bar and the following conversation takes place. 1st: Hello. Dont I know you? 2nd I dont think so. Who are you? 1st: Well, I cant see you for who you are and I am not sure if I am seeing...

submitted by Auntie Matter, 19 December 2016

All I Want for Christmas Is a Pocket Catheter

After spending way too much time, over the last six months, watching the various cable news outlets in the morning, I have been programmed to want the following for Christmas: A self-lubricating pocket catheter...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 12 December 2016

Stevie Wonder Golf

Golfing great Jack Nicklaus was at an event sitting next to Stevie Wonder. Naturally, the subject turned to golf and Stevie said, Ive really lowered my handicap since I switched to aluminum shaft clubs....

submitted by Al N., 02 December 2016

Obama, Bubba and George Dubya Drive Through the Desert

Obamas car, or whip as he calls it in the hood vernacular, is quite fast. Thats why when he, Bubba Clinton and George Dubya Bush heard that Donald trump was actually going to build that wall he had been...

submitted by Chris Dahl, 08 November 2016

Four Midgets and The Guinness Book of World Records.

I was tending bar at the race track one day when a group of four midgets came in. They were drunk, rowdy and holding envelopes in their hands. As they struggled to climb the Mount Everest that was their...

submitted by Chris Dahl, 08 November 2016

The Secret Rooms of Trump Tower

This is your favorite anonymous investigative reporter coming at you with a big scoop! We managed to bribe a servant at Trumps New York penthouse to give us the tour of his secret rooms. The first thing we...

submitted by Al N., 27 October 2016

Donald Trump Jokes

Donald Trump is already helping unemployment-by hiring people to cheer for him at rallies! What would you call a movie about Enrons Kenneth Lay, Bernie Madoff, and Donald Trump? The League of Extraordinary...

submitted by Al N., 28 September 2016

Trump Jockey

Donald Trump, for his highly scripted interview with Bishop Wayne T. Jackson at Great Faith Ministries International, will appear attired in a traditional jockey outfit sporting a red vest and a red ball...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 02 September 2016

FOX News, Fairly Unbalanced

At the gym I work out at, where the clientele (like me) are mostly middle-aged or older, FOX News is inevitably on in the changing room. If I were a Martian working out at this gym and only seeing the...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 28 August 2016

How many Trumpites does it take to change a light bulb

Thousands. 100s to spearhead the spin campaign that the light bulb doesnt exist; Then 100s of Trumpites to begin the wedging marginalization campaign to point out that some light bulbs are owned by...

submitted by Jung in the Jungle, 06 August 2016

"Make America Great Again"

From the conservative dark / Into the ethical life / The dense commuters come. September 1, 1939, W. H. Auden Lets Make America Great Again The orange-haired demagogue proclaims. But Make America Hate...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 18 July 2016

Thoughts on growing old.

I am eighty-five years old. That is REALLY old! I am SO old that when I fart, it comes out as dust! OK. Ok. I stole this from a Tyler Perry movie. What? Who the hell are you to judge? I am a very...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 16 July 2016

Thoughts on growing old.

I am 85 years old. That is REALLY old. I was thinking the other day. I guess you might call it pondering or reflecting. I was wondering; At what time in my transition from old to VERY old did I go from...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 10 July 2016

Grass Houses

Grass Houses King Toobo lived deep in the jungle in a sprawling grass house. He was loved by his people. On his fiftieth birthday, his loyal tribe wanted to present him with a fabulous throne from which...

submitted by Chris Dahl, 06 July 2016

Elephant's Memory

A man saw a baby elephant in the woods limping. Getting him to raise his leg, the man pulled a large thorn out of the babys foot. Years later, the man was at a circus and one of the elephants kept looking...

submitted by Al N., 30 June 2016

Trump: "I love the Blacks"

I love the vets. I love the Blacks. I love the women. I love the Second Amendment. I love the Hispanics. I love the guns. I love the USA. With the way Donald Trump throws around the word love, do you...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 31 May 2016

On the Roof

A guy went on vacation and left his dog Oscar with his brother Ralph. He called up Ralph after the first night as said, Hows Oscar? Ralph replied, Im sorry, but Oscar escaped from the house and ran in the road...

submitted by Al N., 30 May 2016

Dick Cheney and the Bushes

Back in the days when George W. Bush was still President, Bush woke up in the White House after a monstrous snow storm with snow drifted up to all the windows. Bush was startled to see, written in the snow, Fuck...

submitted by Al N., 26 May 2016

So you compute you can dance...

Bot 1; Why do robots tend to be good dancers? Bot 2: Theyve got algorithm. Bot 1: Who could ask for anything more? --- Bot 1; Todays word is Artimation. Bot 2: Whats that mean, Mt Robot 1? Bot 1: Its what you get...

submitted by Michael Balton, 19 May 2016

Nicholas Cage Jokes For the Visually Impaired

Q: Whats the difference between Free Willy and Nicolas Cage? A: Free Willy is more attractive than Nicolas Cage. Q: Why was Nicolas Cage cast to be the Wicker Man? A: Because he used to sell candle wicks. Nicholas...

submitted by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
Showing page 2 (of 582 pages)

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