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The Guy With Two Ex-Wives

A man notices a guy sitting alone in the same pub night after night. The man is always sad, and even cries over his beer sometimes. Feeling sorry for him, the man introduces himself and soon the two...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 28 May 2014

Dear Stewart Lee

Dear Stewart Lee, Ive just turned 28-years-old and I have suddenly found myself depressed and losing my IQ at a dramatic rate. What is most stressful is that since my birthday, whenever my friends talk...

submitted by Jack Allen, 27 May 2014

MacDonald's Is Your Kind of Place

(To be sung to that tune so many of us in our 40s and 50s know so well) MacDonalds is your kind of place Its such a happy place (Unless your pay cant keep pace With the cost of living today). MacDonalds...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 22 May 2014

Pope christens ocean going ship for first time in history!

Pope Francis has christened an ocean going ship for the first time in the history of The Roman Catholic Church! The event took place yesterday afternoon at a boat yard in Venice, Italy! As thousands of jubilant...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 19 May 2014

On the Beach

There was this bloke who fancied having sex with his wife but she said she couldnt do anything with the kids around. So they went to a deserted beach and made love. However a prying policeman noticed the couple and...

submitted by j.w., 18 May 2014

French Maid Joke

A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He looked frustrated and said, Yeah, its top of the line, but I cant seem to get any programs to start up....

submitted by D P Whitehead, 17 May 2014

Sold

I bought a used car yesterday from a salesman. Only problem was he was trying to sell me steak knives. Day before I bought a set of encyclopedias...

submitted by whatinthe world, 07 May 2014

Irish Piss Process

Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams walks into Antrim Police Station saying he wants to make a statement about Boston Colleges oral hysteries concerning...

submitted by queen mudder, 06 May 2014

Super Sex!

A man wants to give his grandfather a special present for his 90th birthday, and decides to get him a call girl, since his grandmother passed away...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 06 May 2014

Nice Tie

A man walks into an almost deserted bar and sits down on a bar stool. The bartender walks over and takes the mans order. While the man sits there in the silence he hears a faint nice tie. He looks around,...

submitted by Catchthisdrift, 06 May 2014

Bus joke

Bus driver is carrying a load of aged people on day trip when a gang of hoodlums hold up the coach. They ask the driver to hand over everybodys wallets and valuables. The man asks all the passengers if they...

submitted by whatinthe world, 06 May 2014

Booze is evil!

Dont go in there! Its a sin to drink! Dont be a sinner! Booze is evil! a Nun shouts at a man as hes about to enter a pub. He takes exception to her demands, and asks her, How do you know drinking is so bad?...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 05 May 2014

Menopause

The guy brought his broken-nosed, missing-yoothed, fat-lipped wife to AE. The young doctor asked what the fuck had happened to her. Her husband explained that the symptoms were a result of going through the change....

submitted by Blazing Saddle, 02 May 2014

Giraffes

There was this truck with ten giraffes standing in the back. A policeman stopped the truck and told the driver to take the giraffes to the local zoo. Very well, I will replied the driver. The next day the truck was...

submitted by j.w., 29 April 2014

Justin Bieber Finds A Man Tied To A Tree

One day Justin Bieber was walking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a man tied naked, face down to a large fallen tree. Justin ran down to the man, and while removing his backpack asked, What...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 22 April 2014

Drunk Man

A man, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. Maybe all I need is some fresh air, thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud. Screw it, he thought. Ill...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 22 April 2014

AIDS

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

A Joke Involving Death

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone. Well, obviously i am not going to end this...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

Disabled Man On The Beach

A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him I bet youve never been hugged before. The legless man shakes his head. Then the second blonde says, I bet youve never...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

Hard of Hearing Boss

A secretary goes into her boss office and asks, May I use your dictaphone? He replies, No. Use your finger like everyone else. Obviously he misheard her - he thought she said dick to phone! How hilarious that would have been if that...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

Masturbating Joke

A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, Son, if you dont stop doing that, youll go blind. The boy said,Dad, Im over here. Obviously the father was a prolific masturbator. Now, before you start...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 21 April 2014

My Photograph Memory

For some reason people always seem to be amazed when I tell them that I have a photographic memory. Theres one over there on the desk. Its of me and Mom when we went to the race track together back...

submitted by Bureau, 19 April 2014

The Really Bad Day!

A Really Bad Day There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the...

submitted by Bureau, 18 April 2014

Chelsea Clinton

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton. Whats the difference between Hillary Clinton and a seal? One smells of fish and has whiskers, the other one...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 18 April 2014
Showing page 2 (of 578 pages)


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