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Showing jokes submitted by dulcie gabbani.


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The perils of farting

This is a story about a couple that had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husbands habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 19 December 2012

Rodeo sex

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favourite sex positions. One says, I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best. I dont think I have ever heard of that one, says the other cowboy. What...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 05 September 2012

The Worse Duck joke ever…

A duck walks into a bar and asks, Got any bread? the barman replies, No. the duck asks, Got any bread? the barman, No! Got any bread? I said, N-O NO! Got any bread? For cryin out loud - N-O spells NO and I mean...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 05 September 2012

The first thing to go is your memory

An 80-year-old couple was having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctors, they explained...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 05 September 2012

A Worthy Pyramid Scheme

Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your mates INSTRUCTIONS Anaesthetize your wife/girlfriend, put her in a large carton, (dont forget some ventilation holes) and send it to the person who is at the top of your list....

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 05 September 2012

Four Quickies

Ladies. If a man says he will fix it, he will. Theres no need to remind him about it every six months. My scouse mate told me hes just got his kids a trampoline off the internet. I asked him what site he saw it on....

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 30 August 2012

i Pad v Newspaper

I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. My son laughed and said This is the 21st century, old man, We dont waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 24 August 2012

The celebate newlyweds

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young Newly wed couple wanted to join a church. The minister said, We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 23 August 2012

The naked runner

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husbands car pull into the driveway. Oh My God - Hurry! Grab...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 23 August 2012

The Talented Octopus

A Guy goes into a pub with his pet octopus and says, I bet £50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus cant play. The people in the pub look around and someone fetches out an old guitar....

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 23 August 2012

Wife goes to Vegas

A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going, and she replied, Im going to Las Vegas. He questioned her as to why she...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 12 August 2012

Mr Jones wife...

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wifes been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wifes been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 12 August 2012

Generation Gap

A young punk gets on a bus. Hes got spiked, multi-coloured hair thats green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of rags, his legs are bare and hes without shoes. His face and ears are riddled...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 12 August 2012

Gold miner

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. Im lookin for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon! he said...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 08 August 2012

20 "Groaners"

1. Phone answering machine message - ...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key... 2. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. Doc, I think Im going mad. The shrink says,...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 08 August 2012

How to make men and women happy

To make a woman happy A man needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13....

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 07 August 2012

Blind shop assistant

A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandsons birthday. She doesnt know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. An assistant is standing there with dark...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 07 August 2012

The amorous Welshman

A Welshman, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 07 August 2012

Old folks home

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital. How are you granddad? he asks. Im feeling fine, says the old man. Whats the food like? Terrific, wonderful menus. And the nursing? Just couldnt...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 07 August 2012

Irish priest

A man enters the confessional and says to the Irish priest Father, its been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month. The priest tells the sinner, You...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 07 August 2012

Charles, Camilla and the Hooker.

Prince Charles decided to take up walking. At the same street corner he passed a hooker standing there every day. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. One hundred...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 05 July 2012

The history of copper wire...

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 28 May 2012

The Rules Of Bedroom Golf

1. Each player should furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play on the course should be approved by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 27 May 2012

Some Limericks..

The breasts of a barmaid of Sale, Were tattooed with the price of brown ale. And on her behind, For the sake of the blind, Was the same information in Braille A horny young lady named Lil Shagged a dynamite...

submitted by dulcie gabbani, 24 May 2012
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