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My Photograph Memory

For some reason people always seem to be amazed when I tell them that I have a photographic memory. Theres one over there on the desk. Its of me and Mom when we went to the race track together back...

submitted by Bureau, 19 April 2014

The Really Bad Day!

A Really Bad Day There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the...

submitted by Bureau, 18 April 2014

Those Your Cattle in Texas

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, Where is everybody? The bartender replied, Theyve gone to the hanging. Hanging? Who are they...

submitted by Bureau, 17 April 2014

Bartender & Pig

A woman and a duck walk into a bar. They get over to the stools and each have a seat. Lets have some service. The bartender says, Whered you get the pig. The woman says, Thats not a pig, thats a duck....

submitted by Bureau, 17 April 2014

One Mean Bartender

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill. So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for...

submitted by Bureau, 17 April 2014

The Woodpecker Does It!

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch? The birch says he...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Leave This Old Gal Alone!

One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, Acts 2:38: Repent be baptized your sins will be forgiven. The robber quickly gave up the lady...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Can't Believe It

I swear, the other day I bought a big packet of peanuts, and on the outside of the packet it said may contain nuts. Well, YES! Thats what I bought the buggers for! Youd be annoyed if you opened it and...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

He Better NOT Be Crazy

I have to admit that I may have outsmarted both Ted Williams and Walt Disney. They may have made millions here, but Ill be the pretty one once all this is over. I saved close to $50,000 on my cryonics...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

A Bad Sign. I Knew It!

I hate it but my steady boyfriend was fired from his job once again. This time it was just being a flag man at the state road department for stealing. We may have to split up. I have to say I saw it coming....

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

WalMart Parking Nightmare

An irate person that was shopping at WalMart says that she gets tired of coming there and not finding a parking place but now she thinks she has it solved. Now if I can not pull out of my parking space over...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Justin Bieber Hit Again!

Just like in Brazil late last year, Justin Bieber was performing on stage and somebody hit him in the head with a bottle full of cola. Once again, he walked off the stage to the boos of his fans. A friend says...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Michele Misses War Vets Breakfast Again

Asked why she didnt come to the breakfast that was to honor our fallen soldiers in Vietnam in any of the five years that she and her husband have been in the White House, Michelle Obama stated that they...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Handy, Horny Wife!

A newly married couple go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, Honey, my hands are freezing! She says,...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Obamas On An Airplane

Once Michelle Obama visited an elementary school to talk to a group of 3rd graders. She said to them, Today we are going to discuss the difference between a tragedy, a great loss and an accident. Then she...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Al Gore Backing Up Traffic

The traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going from car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said Its Al Gore. Hes up there threatening to set himself on fire!...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Bruce Will Only Contribute, Not Do It All!

A guys car broke down. He pulled over to the side of the road.Luckly there was a farm near by.He asked the farmer if he could help. The farmer said sure just let me get my horse, Bruce. So they hooked...

submitted by Bureau, 15 April 2014

A Friendly Challenge

An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The message for the B-52 crew was, Anything you can do, I can do better....

submitted by Bureau, 15 April 2014

The New Recruit

Once there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didnt have a rifle. Thats no problem, son, said the sergeant. Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go...

submitted by Bureau, 15 April 2014

Gotta Be Her

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized...

submitted by Bureau, 15 April 2014

So I Guess We Won't Split Up For Awhile Yet!

Ive heard the word alimony all my life but never actually understood what it meant. But now that Rebecca and me may be splitting up, I went to a friend who knew a judge. He told my friend that the term...

submitted by Bureau, 14 April 2014

Burrito Blocko!

If youre like me and love bean and beef burritos but have a few gas pains and sometime run over a waiter carrying hot fajitas that drop into some other customers lap on the way to the toilet, heres some...

submitted by Bureau, 13 April 2014

How You & Hospital Could Save Money!

I think a lot of money could be saved and everything would be a lot easier is hospitals would let you rent a room at a near-by motel or hotel and you get get some friends and kegs come over and you can...

submitted by Bureau, 13 April 2014

Ye Olde High School Yearbook-Hide it, Burn It!

I used to love to get out my old high school yearbook and point out how they singled me out and that was only about 15 of us who were singled out, out of some 1500. After reviewing our old 1973 Fuddpucker...

submitted by Bureau, 13 April 2014
Showing page 1 (of 194 pages)


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