An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn,...

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Mother of 15 kids at the Benefits Office!

A woman walks into the Nottingham Benefits office, trailed by 15 kids. Wow!, the social worker exclaims, are they all yours? Yes, they are all mine, the flustered mother sighed, having heard that question...

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3 More American Truck Drivers Jokes

Screwdriver This Sunday School teacher always taught the young people to be kind and helpful to others, and then began thinking : Maybe I should try harder to practice what I preach. One day she saw a truck...

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3 American Truck Drivers Jokes

The Breakfast Stop: One morning a young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order. Gimme three flat tyres and a couple of headlights, said the truck driver....

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5 reasons why mother's milk was better for babies than cow's milk!

Houswives was asked for reasons why mothers milk was better for babies than cows milk. These are the answers he submitted: 1. From Gladys Clegg Its fresher. 2. From Hilda Mortograb Its cleaner. 3. From Kathy Merryweather...

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The nurse checks his testicles...

A man is in a hospital bed with an oxygen masked over his nose and mouth drowsy recovering from the effects of the drugs he has been given. a nurse standing over him checking his vital signs. Are me testicles black? he mumbles...

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122 Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex for Women!

1: The average piece of chocolate is at least six inches long. 2: Chocolates stay hard for a week. 3: Chocolate wont tell you size doesnt count. 4: Chocolates dont get too excited. 5: A chocolate never suffers from performance anxiety....

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Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? - Students answer!

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyles Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One...

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Seven UK Idiot Sightings

Idiot Sighting 1: My daughter and i went through the Mcdonalds take-away window and I gave the girl a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a twenty pence piece. She said, You gave me too much money. I said, Yes I know, but...

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11 Thoughts & Facts About Golf

1) In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilised society, it is called golf! 2) The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get...

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The Caring Hells Angel!

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, What are you doing? Im going to commit suicide, she says. While he didnt...

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Steven Wright's 35 things he thought of...

If youre not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, hes the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates....

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The Are You are Ready to take the 'Kids Yet Self-Test'

The Mess Test: Smear jam, lemon curd and sick on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. The Toy Test: Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute...

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The Golfers Confession!

A man goes to confession, sits down and tells the priest, Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. What was your sin, my son? the priest asked. Obscene language, the man replied. Thats a terrible sin, the priest...

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Warning: A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide...

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Sincere letter of appeal to my dearest friend, Alcohol!

Dear Alcohol, First foremost, let me tell you that Im a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and youre even around in the holidays,...

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The 26 Perks of Old Age!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People call at 9PM and ask, Did I wake you? 5. People...

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Jokes

40 Warning Signs Of Insanity

British, Australian, and American Policemen - the difference!

Presenting the "Who You Should Vote For Calculator"

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie...

A doctor lectures medical staff on dangerous foods!

50 Mainly Pointless Facts You can impress Others with knowing!

Ten Funny One-liners!

The Politically correct Bouncer!

Mother of 15 kids at the Benefits Office!

3 More American Truck Drivers Jokes

3 American Truck Drivers Jokes

5 reasons why mother's milk was better for babies than cow's milk!

The nurse checks his testicles...

122 Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex for Women!

Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? - Students answer!

Seven UK Idiot Sightings

11 Thoughts & Facts About Golf

The Caring Hells Angel!

Steven Wright's 35 things he thought of...

The Are You are Ready to take the 'Kids Yet Self-Test'

The Golfers Confession!

Warning: A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Sincere letter of appeal to my dearest friend, Alcohol!

The 26 Perks of Old Age!

RSS & Feeds