All jokes submitted by Inchcock.
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Question:...
Fed up with small, slanted political quizzes?...
An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie are talking about screams of passion....
The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago....
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn,...
A woman walks into the Nottingham Benefits office, trailed by 15 kids. Wow!, the social worker exclaims, are they all yours? Yes, they are all mine, the flustered mother sighed, having heard that question...
Screwdriver This Sunday School teacher always taught the young people to be kind and helpful to others, and then began thinking : Maybe I should try harder to practice what I preach. One day she saw a truck...
The Breakfast Stop: One morning a young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order. Gimme three flat tyres and a couple of headlights, said the truck driver....
Houswives was asked for reasons why mothers milk was better for babies than cows milk. These are the answers he submitted: 1. From Gladys Clegg Its fresher. 2. From Hilda Mortograb Its cleaner. 3. From Kathy Merryweather...
A man is in a hospital bed with an oxygen masked over his nose and mouth drowsy recovering from the effects of the drugs he has been given. a nurse standing over him checking his vital signs. Are me testicles black? he mumbles...
1: The average piece of chocolate is at least six inches long. 2: Chocolates stay hard for a week. 3: Chocolate wont tell you size doesnt count. 4: Chocolates dont get too excited. 5: A chocolate never suffers from performance anxiety....
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyles Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One...
Idiot Sighting 1: My daughter and i went through the Mcdonalds take-away window and I gave the girl a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a twenty pence piece. She said, You gave me too much money. I said, Yes I know, but...
1) In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilised society, it is called golf! 2) The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get...
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, What are you doing? Im going to commit suicide, she says. While he didnt...
If youre not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, hes the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates....
The Mess Test: Smear jam, lemon curd and sick on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. The Toy Test: Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute...
A man goes to confession, sits down and tells the priest, Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. What was your sin, my son? the priest asked. Obscene language, the man replied. Thats a terrible sin, the priest...
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide...
Dear Alcohol, First foremost, let me tell you that Im a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and youre even around in the holidays,...
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People call at 9PM and ask, Did I wake you? 5. People...
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