Constipation

Submitted by Trollbuster General
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Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Is it true that constipated people don't give a shit? Constipation…it can certainly put a strain on you. You know why they call it "passing a stool?" Because it feels like it. In fact, when I had it felt more like a fucking sofa. With the world's fattest man on it. I read that some suicide bombers use it when they can't get hold of any explosives. They eat 900 boiled eggs and swallow a laxative. So, basically, what you have is a walking shit bomb. I imagine if that went off people nearby would be a bit browned off. It would certainly raise a stink. The only drawback is they wouldn't qualify for the virgins in the afterlife. All they'd get is some toilet paper.

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