My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion do, and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"