Learning About Sex

Submitted by Ben Salz
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Tuesday, 20 April 2010

My Dad never had that talk with me about sex. Nope, at the age of 12, I became so disenchanted once that I just wandered off into the forest. A day later I was rescued by a troop of Cub Scouts. So, I asked them about sex, but they were gay.

The world can be a lonely place when you're 12 and curious about sex, especially when the only education you get from your father is how to conserve electricity. Great excuse for turning the lights off when you want to create a romantic atmosphere with your girlfriend, bad idea if you're in a room filled with gay Cub Scouts.

Wouldn't that be a great sequel to Deliverance? Deliverance II: Cub Scouts! Starring Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty, and the Jonas Brothers in their film debut!

"Now, squeal like a pig! NO, NO, NO! Wrong pitch and key! - Don't me and my brothers have some P-E-R-R-R-T-T-T-Y hair? Oh my gosh, the old man wearing the wig is going to shoot us with his bow and arrow, kind of like Cupid; I think I'm in love!"

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