Why does Ann Coulter call security whenever liberals are in the area around her house?
Because her flying monkeys are busy doing other chores for her.
How many liberals can Ann Coulter devour at one sitting?
Only two- she's cutting down to keep her girlish figure.
Why won't Ann Coulter make any more movies?
Because of the two of them in the end of the Alien movies Sigourney Weaver got all the fame and Ann got killed.
Why won't zookeepers allow Ann Coulter in the zoo anymore?
She keeps biting the venomous snakes and killing them.
Why won't Ann Coulter give talks in Kansas any more?
Because she remembers when a house from Kansas fell on her sister.