Why did the CEO sell his grandmother?
He wanted to get rid of her before depreciation lowered her value any more.
Why did the CEO want to have a child?
He figured it would be a good hedge against inflation and it is always good to have an extra set of compatible kidneys around for when you get old.
Why did the CEO have a picture of Mother Theresa on his desk?
To remind himself of all the qualities he should not have in order to succeed in the business world.
What does a CEO mean when he talks about 'the good old days'?
He means before the Civil War when you could still use slaves.
How did the crooked CEO get out of prison?
He had his corporation assimilate it in a hostile takeover.