Roger gets married, and on his wedding night calls his father to get some tips on what to do since he had never been with a woman before.
"Dad so what do I do first?"
His father: "Take her clothes off and lay her on the bed"
5 minutes later Roger is on the phone again. "She's naked and in bed what do I do now?"
His father can't believe what he is hearing, "Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her."
After another 5 minutes Roger is on the phone again. "Dad, I'm naked and in bed with her, what do I do now?"
His father's patience is now running out so he says, "Shit son, do I have to spell everything out to you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees. Good night!!!!
Just when his father starts snoring, his son is on the phone again.
"OK Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do now?"
"Drown yourself, you bloody idiot!"