When the elderly lady fell pregnant, she prepared herself for the worst. She'd heard all the horror stories about elderly ladies giving birth to deformed babies.
She was sixty eight years old and childless.
At the birth, there was both good and bad news.
Her baby was alive! Just a head. No body, but he was alive!
Wind the clock on 21 years.
Her son, the head, is sitting on a velvet cushion placed on a stately leather armchair watching the X-Factor on TV. Talking to the TV telling it how shit John and Edward are.
The head's mother appeals for attention.
"It's your 21st birthday tomorrow Eddie, (Eddie...geddit) and that's a special day for both of us. What would you like for your birthday son?"
Eddie thinks it over. Considers it, then says:
"Anything Mammy. But not another fucking hat!"