She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back
Look's like she's been ducking for apples in a chip pan
Had more hands up her than Sooty!
She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle
It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
Everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
I wouldn't do her with a rusty pole
More chins than a Chinese phone book
She smells like an alkies carpet
She has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
It's like shaggin a pail of water.
It's like shaggin the sleeve off a wizards cloak!
she's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
Fanny like a ripped out fireplace
Face like a sand blasted tomato
Arse like a bag of washing
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
She's seen more helmets than Hitler
Face like a stuntman's knee
She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
Like opening the window and shagging the night
She's seen more cockends than weekends
I left her with a face like a painter's radio
Fanny like a clown's pocket
Fanny like a Hippo's yawn
She's that ugly not even a sniper would take her out
I bet she's got a fanny like a pub carpet
More pricks than a second hand dartboard.
Face like a blind cobbler's thumb
She's done more lengths than Mark Spitz
She's been shot over more times than Sarajevo
Even the tide wouldn't take her out
Got more finger prints on her than Scotland Yard
Handled more balls than Dino Zoff
Piss flaps like John Wayne's saddle bags
She had a pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout
A cunt like a burst couch
A face like she's been ram raiding on scooters
She's seen more stiffs than Quincy !
Cocked more times than Elmer Fudd's shotgun