So I came home from work and my wife asked me how I got two black eyes. I told her that on the way home on the subway, I noticed that the woman in front of me had her dress caught in the crack of her ass, so me being a gentlemen, I pulled it out for her.
That's when she turned around and hit me.
My wife said, "Well, I can see how that could happen. But how did you get your second black eye?"
I said, "Oh, I figured that she must have liked it the way it was before, so me being a gentlemen, I stuffed it back in."