Two deaf guys walk into a pub in Burnley.
One gives his mate a twenty pound note and says:
"You get the drinks in. I'll find us a seat."
So the guy goes to the bar and orders two pints of lager. The barman serves him and gives him two pounds change.
"What's this?" the deaf guy asks, looking at his change. "You charge nine pounds a pint in here these days?"
"Nah," the barman says. "We've got a live band in tonight. There's a £5 cover charge. You and your mate, that's a tenner."
"Live band," the bartender confirms.
"What, rock and roll, Indie, hip-hop, grunge...?"
"Country and Western," the barman replies.
"Ri-ight..." the deaf guy says as he takes the drinks.
He rejoins his mate. Puts the drinks on the table.
"Where's me change?" the friend asks.
He gets handed the two quid.
"What? They charge nine quid a fuggin pint in here now do they? What's the crack?"
"They've got a band on. £5 cover charge."
"What? Rock n roll, Indie, hip hop, grunge?"
"Some cunt from Preston."
My good buddy Mac from Aberdeen Scotland told me this one. It's much better told live.