An Ohio drunk, Ron Paul, stood on the Ohio side of the Ohio River, and a hill billy, Frank E. Jordan, stood on the West Virginia side of the Ohio River. The buckeye had no booze and knew the hill bully had a brand new jug of white liquor. But twilight was falling upon the Ohio River Valley, and poor Ron Paul was too frightened to swim across the river.
"Hey, Frankie, why don't you swim over here and bring that jug with you so I can get a buzz on tonight," he shouted over the water.
"Sorry, Ronnie, but it's getting too dark for me to swim, and the jug would drag me down in the water. Why don't you swim over here," said Jordan.
"Oh come on hill billy; jump in and swim across with that jug. I jest got to get a buzz on!"
"No can do, buckeye. But I do have an idea," Frank said as he turned on his 12 volt spot light and shined its powerful beam clear across the river. "You just hop up on the beam and walk on across. You won't even get your feet wet."
Ron was quiet as he pondered this idea. He studied on it and studied on it, but finally declined Jordan's invitation. "You think I'm stupid," he told Frankie. "I'd get half-way across and you'd turn off the light!"