There was a group of skydiving devil worshippers, and they had a new recruit. One was instructing him on what to do after he jumps. "When you jump count to ten and pull this cord."
"What if the 'chute doesn't open," he asked.
"Then pull this cord here," was the reply.
"Ok, but what if it doesn't open then," the recruit asked nervously.
"Then say 'Satan, Satan help me'. You'll be fine" The recruit jumps, counts to ten, pulls the cord. Nothing. He pulls the second cord, again, nothing.
"Satan, Satan help me," he cried.
A massively huge black hand with fire dripping off of it, catches the recruit.
"Oh thank God!"