I woke up this morning feeling really rough after a big night out with the lads. My wife had gone out.
There was a glass of water and asprins on the bedside table, which I gratefully downed. I was surprised to see a note from my wife - "You look a bit unwell, dear, take the day off work. We can manage without the money. Your breakfast is in the microwave".
This all seemed a bit strange, so when my teenage son came downstairs, I asked him what happened last night.
"Well, you came home at 2am, switched all the lights on, put the TV and hi-fi on full blast, fell upstairs, puked on the landing carpet, missed the loo, and woke mum".
"How come she is being so nice then?" I asked.
"I think what did it was when she went to take your clothes off to put you to bed, and you told her not to do that because your wife wouldn't like it!"